When Breastfeeding Goes Wrong. Part 1.
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A Connecticut Based Life + Style Blog. Featuring style, beauty, home decor, and motherhood.
I've officially been a mom for over a month. This still feels surreal to me! Being a first time mom,...
My daughter was a terrible breastfeeder and couldn’t get a good latch. I bled and was so sore and almost gave up as well until I found something and thought I’d give it a try. It was by the company Medela and it was a nipple guard. Really it’s a piece of plastic that goes over your nipple and areola. The nipple on the guard is quite large so it makes it easier for babies to get a good latch on. It saved my breasts and let me continue to breastfeed. Hope this helps.
http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/tips-and-solutions/112/nipple-shields
Hi Melanie! Thanks so much for the advice. I have tried nipple shields, but it was also when he was a couple weeks old, so it may be worth trying them again!
I was in nursing school when I gave birth to my second daughter. I was able to breastfeed her for 4 weeks but then I had to start pumping because I was away so much for school. Th minute I introduced a bottle she HATED me breasts! I went to many different doctors and we still couldn’t get her to latch again. I was stuck pumping 🙁 I bought a medela double breast pump and cried every 2-3 hours for almost 3months. My nipples hurt so bad. I couldn’t towel dry, wear tight fitted shirts and my bra was killing me! The worst part was when i leaked a little onto my nipple covers (in my bra) and then had to peel them off because they dried to my nipple. OUCH! Around the 2 months I was bleeding so bad that my milk was bloody…..the MD told me it was okay to give my daughter but I still tossed it down the sink, crying as I watched the liquid gold (or ruby) slip away. The only thing that helped was going topless from time to time when I was alone. I would walk around without a bra or shirt at home just to ease the pain. I tried all the creams and the only thing that kind of worked was COLD lanolin cream. The whole squeeze some breast milk and let it dry thing was a load of crap. I graduated school and pumped at work….crying the whole time! It was miserable but at around 3/4 months the pain got less (or maybe I was just used to it) and the bleeding was very rare. I learned to stretch out my pumping session from 2-3 hours into 3-4 hours and eventually only 3-4 times a day. I was still able to produced the same amount of milk at the end of the day. I drank the mothers milk tea from Whole Foods to help with my supply if it ran low and drank tons of water. To help with the loneliness I bought one of those bras that holds the pump and wore a hooter hider. . . .my family is full of women who told me numerous times that they wouldn’t mind if I had to go topless or pump right in front of them. They are all mothers who were very comfortable with showing their breastfeeding in public. lol
Honestly the only advice I have for you is time. I was in the same position you were, I went to all the right doctors, lactation consultants and even a few midwifes with no results. The ONLY thing that worked was time. I’m so sorry I don’t have anything else for you. Just support. Good luck and try going braless from time to time. It was awkward but kinda nice;)
I couldn’t help but laugh at your “squeeze the breast milk and let it dry” comment…it IS a load of crap! I frequently go braless around my house to give them some relief…which helps! Who likes bras anyway?! 😉 Thanks for your encouragement, advice, and support!
Hi Lauren,
I know how you feel, I went through it as well. When my first son was born, I was 100% ready to nurse him, to me, there wasn’t any other options. Unfortunately, like you I experienced soreness, cracked and bleeding nipples and I used to scream in pain whenever my son latched on. After a couple of months, things got a lot better. I can’t tell you what I did differently, but I truly believe that I was doing something wrong originally… I actually believe (without any proofs) that I wasn’t shoving my breast far enough in the baby’s mouth!!! If you look at picture of how a baby gets its milk, you’ll see that a good portion of the nipple needs to be inside its mouth… Sorry for TMI! I hope you’ll figure it out, it is truly a wonderful and unique experience. Being a new mom is not easy, don’t give up :o)
Thanks Caroline! I’m actually meeting with my lactation doctor again this week to see if yes, maybe he’s not getting enough breast tissue in his mouth or what. Hopefully there’s something I’m doing wrong that can be corrected! And there’s no such this as TMI with this nurse, lol! 🙂
With my first son, I agree with you whole heartily. It was awful. I ended up crying most times I was in so much pain. Lanolin creams helped…I eventually gave up after 3 months. When I had my second and now with my third I barely feel a thing! I think if you hang in there you will be just fine [big hug.]
Thank you! Definitely trying to push through! 🙂
I used to have that problem when I nursed my daughter Grace. The pain was the same pumping and nursing. I was cracked, red, and raw. Everyone I nursed her, I would cry because it was so bad, but I wouldn’t do formula either. I used lanolin ointment because I was told their saliva could make your skin feel raw and thus cause you pain. The pumping was worse and I wad so tense nothing would come. My Dr. Told me too use compresses in between feedings and to let my nipples air dry before I put my bra back on. I felt like a complete a$$ with my Bob hanging out while it air dried, but I followed up with organic lanolin and the compressed. It did help some. I don’t know if this helps at all, but I will surely pray GOD shows you a solution. It is so frustrating!!
Thanks Susan! I have tried lanolin with no improvement :/ but I haven’t tried compresses. I will say my pain is less with pumping, and I did try to nurse the other day and it felt better! But I tried again the following day and it hurt badly again :/ That awful, take your breath away, makes you want to cry pain. I could use all the prayers I can get, so thank you!! I’m praying God will give me a solution!
Hi Lauren,
I don’t know you from Adam, but I do have advice for you… I came upon your blog a little while back because I googled something about jewelry organization and you had a neat trick for ziplocking necklaces for traveling. I check in periodically. Anyways, I am a mom of two. My daughter, Lauren, is 13 and my son is 10 and I breastfed them both till they were about 14 months old. I know this is hard, but don’t give up for the sake of your baby’s health. I can’t tell you how strongly I am urging you to carry on with the breastfeeding. It is so vitally important for their health. If you switch to formula you will be trading one problem in for a myriad of other problems. Don’t feel badly about pumping to give your nipples a break. When things calm down with them you will be able to continue nursing him more. Those first three months are the toughest. Everyone experiences rough spots. Tough it out these next couple of months and you will see that everything about new motherhood will get better when he is about 3 months old. I know you feel terrible about giving him a bottle, but DON’T. You are not “failing” him. You are doing the absolute best thing for him by continuing to give him the perfectly God-created nutrition for him-your breastmilk. That, in itself, is a miracle. Be thankful you have lots of milk and that he doesn’t mind how he gets it.. This too shall pass. Stay strong dear! I know you can do it!
Hi Claudia! I completely agree with you on the formula thing. I’m very much against it personally, so as much misery as I’m in, it’s worth it to give my little man the good stuff. I’m just praying I can nurse again without it hurting! Thank you so much for your encouragement….I need it, and it really means a lot to me! I’ll post updates as I go! 🙂
Have you tried nipple shields? With my first I had to use them exclusively for about 2 months.! I know that most say it will hurt your supply but I found that to not be true, in my case it was the only way I was able to bf my dd
Hi Alexandria! I did try nipple shields when he was 2 weeks old (thats when the awful, crying pain started) but he had a problem latching….he was a tiny baby and it was almost like his mouth was too small! But it may be worth trying them again now that he’s significantly bigger! Thanks for the tip!
I’m so sorry you have to go through this!
I had a horrible experience learning to breastfeed as well and was told to quit by medical professionals. My son is eight months old and still nursing, so don’t give up hope!
Since you have talked to many professionals already, my advice might be redundant or might not work at all…
Do you have a good quality breast pump? Medela is the best in my opinion. The cheap ones are just terrible!
Have you tried spending the day in bed, or just around the house without a bra, and just let your nipples air out?
Breast milk itself also had healing effects, do you can put that on it as well as you are airing out.
Have you tried a different size breast shield (breast pump attachment)? That could really be hurting your nipple if it is too small or large. The pump usually comes with a standard size but it is possible to buy different sizes.
I’m sure you have heard this before and tried it already but those are a few things nobody told me about!
Hi Ashley! Yes, I have a Medela double pump which is great. I do frequently walk around topless (lol) to let them air out a bit, and I have tried rubbing breast milk all over them. I also tried one size bigger of the breast pump attachment which did feel a little better while pumping. But I tried breast feeding the other day and it STILL hurts. After almost a month of pumping! I’m going to my doctor again Wednesday, hoping I get some answers :/ Thanks for the tips!!! Always great to hear from moms who went through the same thing!
I don’t know for you but mine were a ton like this with my first and it just took me about 2 weeks of excruciating pain to make them ok. I don’t know if they toughened up or maybe my baby was latching on just a bit wrong and finally figured it out or both. It was terrible but I was not going to use formula either. I feel you. The pain was so bad, like needles, that I had to grab a blanket and hold my breathe for the first few minutes.
The next two were much easier, only a day or two of less pain.
Hi Michelle! Yes, the pain was that excruciating where I was crying with each feed. :/ Maybe I didn’t give it enough time? Although I would think pumping would’ve relieved some pain. I tried nursing again the other day and it was still super painful. I go back to my doctor this week, hoping for some answers! Thanks for the support!
oh my lovely amazing friend. you are such an incredible mommy! the fact that you are hanging in there to give your baby breast milk is such a beautiful thing!! you go girl.
so, using the breast pump doesnt hurt but nursing him does?? that is crazy to me because Jacks doesnt hurt me when he eats, but when i pump it actually makes me sore. I move the pump around too thinking I’m not putting it on the right spot. My thought was yours exactly, what if its the pumping?? I dunno. my thought is crazy. and i am not feeling or experiencing what you are, so feel free to be like NO. lol.
WHAT if you just stop pumping and nurse him? basically you have to take the pain at first, in hopes that it will go away. my thought is that a lot of women go through pain when they first start to nurse but after time as your nipples adjust it goes away. maybe since you had the issues from the start your nipples really never got to adjust to a baby sucking on them?? I know women that literally cried when they nursed at first but it got better. I just cant imagine the Landon would cause more pain than a breast pump, unless hes an aggressive eater. but AGAIN i have never nursed him! Maybe now that the bacteria is gone you try again?
My heart goes out to you!!! thinking of you and praying your nipples get with the program!!! love you!
Hi my beautiful friend!! I did attempt to nurse him a couple of days ago and it felt better! So was all WOOOO!!! But then when I tried again, it hurt BAD. I jumped in pain. So, I’m not sure if I overdid it or what. I’m going back to meet with the lactation doctor Wednesday to see if maybe I’m doing something wrong. And yes, that was me…I cried every time I had to nurse him. And you would think after almost a month of pumping, it would be significantly better! But no, for whatever reason. :/ Hoping for some answers soon! Thank you for the prayers!
even if he doesn’t have thrush you sound like I did when I had serious yeast, it can be on you and not him.
Here’s a short write up on my treatment plan: http://diycupcake.blogspot.com/2011/08/diy-treating-thrush.html
but seriously, my nipples were bright red and in so much pain!!
good luck.
Hi Jennifer! I know they cultured my nipples for yeast, just awaiting the results! Mine are bright red too, so maybe it is? I will definitely check out your link! Thank you SO much!
Oh mama I know your pain! I have vasospasms, so I struggle with painful nipples. Get some chiropractic therapy for you AND your little one checked for tongue or lip ties. You may have sensitive nipples that just take a while. Try wearing pads as much as you can, and massage with coconut oil. Try to get him on the breast as much as you can tolerate, the more he has bottles and is away from the breast, the harder the adjustment will be!
I meant chiro for you AND the baby, plus the upper lip tie…. my LO’s went unnoticed for months
Hi Alyssa! I’m so sorry you struggle with pain too 🙁 it’s so unfair! I did have him checked for tongue/lip ties by multiple medical professionals, but they all say no! I didn’t think of bringing him into the chiro, you’re saying that could help?? I keep trying to breast feed a few times a week because I’m afraid he will “forget” from the bottle. I actually just found some great tips on how to bottle feed similar to breast feeding (making them latch on the nipple, etc) that I might try. Thanks for the tips and support!
No advice here (I’ve got 17 more weeks before I experience breastfeeding for the first time), but lots of empathy and support here!!
Thanks for the support and encouragement!! I need it!
Oops, I said “here” twice in one sentence. This is why I should stay off the Internet after I’ve taken my nausea meds!!
I’m sorry it’s been such a struggle for you. I just gave up breastfeeding (my girl’s 4 months old). She just wouldn’t take my breast anymore and it’s heartbreaking. No matter how rational you try to be about this it just hurts your heart. Have you tried breast shields? What about iceing your nipples before and after to numb them? You’ve probably tried it all but the only other thing I can think of is aloe Vera after. Again, I’m sorry, but if its any consolation, the heart ache gets better with time.
Warmly, Another Mother in Arms
Jessie
Hi Jessie! I actually haven’t thought of Aloe! I may try that. I’m sorry you’re experiencing the heart break too 🙁 I did try the shields, but I also tried them when he was a couple weeks old (when it was at its worst) and I think his mouth may have been too small to latch to them. It might be worth trying them again now that he’s bigger! Thanks so much for your advice, support, and encouragement!
Hi I’m a new reader and a Doula and 3time mom. I’m also mobile so I apologize in advance. I have been where you are. My older daughter ‘latched funny’and nobody knew it. Doctors and nurses all tOld me her latch was perfect but I never got relief from the site nipples. The cream they gave me didn’t do a damn thing to help, if anything it made it worse. We finally figured out her latch issue was a result of an undiagnosed Heart problem, but not until I had exclusively pumped for 9 weeks and finally given up. My advice to you is to keep on pushing. Keep going to the doctors, keep Seeking out answers. At the same time, keep putting baby to the breast. Anything to get your nipples to toughen up. Use an sns if it’s helpful. Realized that your baby is very young and it takes many weeks for your body to relate the first time. Showers will hurt, so may touch, but by continuing to Expose the breast to this It should become acclimated to the feeling. Some people don’t though, and I commend those who deal regardless or exclusively pump for the duration of their nursing relationship. It’s hard, I know. Good luck and best wishes!
Thanks so much Crystal! I’m praying your daughter’s heart problem is under control..I imagine that was scary for you to hear. I plan on continuing my search for answers no matter what it takes! I have tried to put him to breast a few times, but the pain is just so unbearable. I’m actually meeting with my lactation doctor again tomorrow to see if there’s a way we can get him on without it being so painful and at least manageable. Thanks so much for the advice and encouragement!
Hi Emma! I did try nipple shields when he was about 2 weeks old (that’s when it started getting REALLY bad and I was crying through feedings), but he couldn’t latch with them. Maybe it’s worth trying them again now that he’s older? Thanks for the tip! I do space feedings (or really, pump sessions now), and I did try feeding on one side one feeding and then the other side the next when I was breast feeding…but it was just still so painful. I can’t believe how many moms I’m finding struggled with this same issue! Also, you said not to print this and I’m not sure if you mean publish, so after I reply to you I’ll delete your comment just in case! Thanks again!
This is my experience exactly. Not kidding, everything you said is what happened to me. Okay this is what worked for me. First of all stop pumping . It will take about 10 days but you’ll feel so much better. Just fight through the pain and feed your sweet boy. I promise it will work. Also, inquire about Dr. Newmans ointment. You’ll need a prescription and a compounding pharmacy has to mix it up ( and its expensive but I bet you’d pay anything at this point) but it is a miracle. And safe for baby. Now here’s the thing I wish I would have known, go buy a manual pump. I got mine at target for 18 dollars and fell in love. So now if you have to pump use this. It took me 4 minutes to pump 4 oz on one side! Try these things and let me know, I still had occasional pain but it was so much better. Good luck!
My cousin actually is mailing me that ointment! Hopefully it works, she had the same problem! I have a manual pump as well…I’ll have to give that a shot! Thanks Kara!
Oh girl, I am so sorry!
I really have no advice except maybe try a nipple shield? I’m sure it’s already been recommended to you though with all the doctors you have seen. I had to pump with my first and know how annoying it can be.
I did try a nipple shield, but it was when he was 2 weeks old and I think his mouth was too small! I may try one again! Thanks for the tip!
So with all 3 of my kids my nipples were extremely sore and cracked for the first 2 weeks to a month….the only difference is that it wasn’t a constant pain, it would be a horrid, close my eyes and hold my breath and wince in pain kind of torture that lasted the first couple of seconds as they latched. But it would go away after a few seconds as they got the hang of eating. I used lanolin after each time they ate and used the cold gel soothies, felt very refreshing. praying it all subsides and that your nipples feel better asap. I feel so bad you are going through this, but what an incredible mom you are for pumping and sticking it out! It is great that he will take a bottle because Lyric & Lera never would! Don’t feel guilty, many moms have to pump because they are working, so that is still wonderful. I would agree with Claudia too…3 months is about that time things start to get easier. Praying that is the case for you and for God to truly shed light on what may be causing this pain! Xoxo. Seriously though, so many moms would just give up and you are pushing through as hard as you can, very commendable girl!
Lauren, I know you said you tried just about everything, but there are a couple of things that I think may help if you haven’t tried them already. APNO (Dr Newman has a recipe to make it) seems to work really well on moms who have tried everything else. Don’t use it for more than about two weeks. APNO treats inflammation, bacteria and yeast all at once. Also if you haven’t had your pump flanges checked see someone who can check to make sure the size is right for you. I’ve known some moms who need a lubricant to help with the rubbing on the flange while pumping even when the flanges fit properly. Lanolin would make that worse, but olive or coconut oils work well for that. If you’d rather use something just for nipples Mother Love makes a wonderful nipple cream. Make sure you work with a great lactation consultant or LLL Leader who can help you with the latch. That’s something that may improve over time and might be worth trying again with or without a shield. There may be something really simple that could help, but someone needs to see you nurse to be able to tell what that is. Good luck and I hope you are pain free very soon.
Hi Cathy! The lactation doctor I’m going too actually doesn’t recommend the APNO, but I’m getting it from my cousin because I figure it’s worth a shot! It should arrive in the mail tomorrow. I had her check the pump flanges and I actually went up to a size 27mm which did help. I lubricate with some olive oil or coconut oil to help with the pulling (told ya, I do it all!), or I’ll use Earth Mama’s nipple cream which has olive oil and coconut oil in it. I may inquire about the nipple shields…I tried them when things really started getting bad but that was a few weeks ago and I think his mouth was too small. May be worth trying again! Thanks so much Cathy!
Hi Lauren-If you tried the next size up for the Medela flange (27mm) and it was a little better, then I would definitely try the 30mm and maybe even the 36mm. There is no way to look at someone and say that they have the right size shield (you can guess, as in, about 1/2 inch of areolar tissue should go into the tunnel past the right angle of the flange), but really, the best way is to try one out. If that doesn’t help, try the pumpin pals-they do sell a trial set that gives you one of each size to try. You either really like them or you don’t-they are a completely different feel. While you are trying to get over this hump of everything feeling so bad, I would try a hospital grade pump like the Medela Symphony as most say it feels more comfortable to pump-is smoother and not as jerky as the Pump In Style. Finally…it REALLY makes me question that there isn’t a hidden tongue tie that no one has detected yet. Go to http://www.cwgenna.com and look at the pictures under “quick help” as they show a normal tongue and then pics of hidden (posterior) tongue ties. Also, snapping a pic of your baby crying with mouth wide open and posting on the Facebook page “tongue-tie support group” (have to request to join first) might be helpful. Craniosacral therapy would be really helpful for both you and baby-I’ve had Mamas who had such significant pain with breastfeeding b/c baby clamped so hard, and with CST, they loosened up and it was no longer painful. Best of luck to you!
Thank you for the tip!!!!!! I actually joined the tongue tie group today and think I have an answer!
Could it be vasospasm? https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/vasospasm
Lauren you are so not alone! So sorry to read your blog. I do wonder though if perhaps the lactation people you’ve may not know how to diagnose a posterior tongue tie. Look at kiddsteeth.com. “Breastfeeding should be fun and enjoyable .” Dr. Kotlow shows you how to check for tongue tie. Good luck! I totally admire your commitment to breastmilk!
Ah Peggy! You hit the nail on the head. I’ll post more about this soon.
Hi! I read your first post of your struggle. Have you always experienced this sensitivity or only after childbirth? One thing that came to mind was Raynaud’s of the nipple. I have seen it a few times, where the nipple undergoes color changes due to vasospasms — sometimes blanches, then turns back to red. You might try hand warmers (activated charcoal) in socks and apply them before pumping or breastfeeding and then apply again once the baby or pump is removed. “Warm dry heat”. One patient couldn’t use the mechanical pump because of the pain from vasospasms. Some people use Procardia or Nifedipine for relief from the spasms. The other things I thought of is nipple size– are your nipples tiny and do you need to use a super small phlange? Could this be a yeast infection that may need Diflucan or stronger treatment? Just thinking. sorry to hear your plight!
I would imagine if this had been your issue, one of the many specialists you’ve seen would have told you, but if by chance you are suffering from cracked nipples, which are excruciatingly painful, then piercing a Vitamin E capsule and rubbing the oil inside on your nipples provides VERY fast healing. I doubt there is such a simple solution for your situation, but I do hope you are able to find one soon. You have a beautiful baby, and like all troubles, this, too, shall pass.
Hi Lauren! After reading your post I can completely relate to everything you said! My little one is 4 weeks old and we’ve already been through tongue tie, thrush, and just plain agony with bf. I am currently using the nipple shield which helps somewhat, but I’m trying to wean him off it. I’ve been working with a LC to try and get him to latch correctly and sometimes it’s great, sometimes I end up crying in pain! I am absolutely not going to formula feed for the same reasons you’ve stated. I know how hard it can be, and I’m encouraging you to keep at it, just as I will. I keep praying it will get better with time. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in this situation… good luck to you and I really hope this resolves for you and you can get back to comfortably bf your LO. 🙂
Hi Whitney! Thank you for this! I actually was never able to direct feed my son again, and exclusively pumped for him for 14 months 🙂 It was a challenge, but what worked best for us! I wish you the best of luck with your journey, and pray it gets better for you!!! <3
wow,
It`s so relieving seeing someone else has experienced what I`ve gone through. I breastfed for 5 days. I dreaded every time as it was some kind of death sentence for me. And then I started pumping – yeah, it`s time consuming and so on, BUT it`s sooooo much better than breastfeeding. My nipples hasn`t healed yet (6 weeks), and the experience I had with breastfeeding was the most painful in my life.. I`d better give birth any day, just don`t make me feed that baby 😀 Thank God for pumping option 🙂
I know this is an old post but I just had my second about 6 weeks ago. With my first who is now 3 1/2, I HAD to use Nipple shields every single time it was excruciating. This time, not only does it hurt SO BAD, my LO is a lazy sucker and half the time gets frustrated. Having my husband away for the first month at home I was too tired to fight it. I started exclusively breast feeding almost immediately after coming home after a cesarean. I still can barely touch my nipples. It’s so frustrating day in and day out being in pain. I love my ice packs! I haven’t seen a lactation specialist, nor have I gotten tested for any type of bacteria. I guess I should but I feel like it’s just the way it is. Did you ever find anything that helped? I read another one of your posts and it says you hung in for over a year! That’s amazing. So DID it get BETTER? Or did you just push through it?
I’ve been pumping exclusively after returning home, not breast feeding***