Dear the less sleep-deprived, bright eyed, naive version of me:
I’d like to start by saying that you, my friend, are an idiot.
I know, nice way to start a letter, right? But it’s true, so I have to say it. You don’t even realize it now, but one day you will. One day you’ll look back and laugh at yourself and think, how could I have been so dumb? But I suppose all pre-moms go through this, so really I can’t blame you. What exactly am I speaking of, you ask? Oh, just your need to think you “know” how life will be after your beautiful baby boy will arrive.
You have totally judged ALL of your friends and their parenting, maybe without even knowing you’re judging. When you say “Oh, I’ll never do that with my child”…sound familiar? Or, “The baby will be an addition to our lives, our lives will not revolve around him/her.” HA. Oh my gosh, you are so stupid. You will be so in love with that child of yours that you won’t even care about anything else other than him. Of course your life will revolve around him. He needs you 24/7, he’s a baby. Enjoy your date nights now because those are about to be very rare. And stop thinking your friends are crazy because they are about to be the ones you go to when your child is screaming and you don’t know why, or when you feel like you have no clue what you’re doing. Or, when you enter the 45 minute nap phase and you just want to DIE. You need those sweet friends of yours, so stop thinking you know everything there is to know about having a child is LISTEN TO THEM.
And this is my favorite line of yours: “oh we will absolutely make time to continue our workouts.” Listen sister. You have not a damn clue. Enjoy your freedom now because once he’s here, your maternity leave is over, and you’re back to work full time? You will barely have time to PEE let alone work out. You will be trying to fit workouts in at 8pm when you’re so tired from your day that you can barely keep your eyes open. I should warn you now that your husband is about to get veeeery busy with work, which means you’ll REALLY have no one to babysit while you hit the gym. And CrossFit doesn’t have an 8pm class. At least you have a jogging stroller for the warmer months, but I know you, and you won’t step foot outside when it’s below 50 degrees, let alone bring your baby out in that cold. So you better get your butt to CrossFit as much as you can now because you won’t be for much longer. Also, you will be put on bed rest, so how’s that for working out the entire time you’re pregnant like you keep talking about?
And let’s go back to the “judging” for a minute. I’ve heard you say more than once how “easy” breastfeeding is and that you plan to exclusively breast feed. Oh, and how awful formula feeding moms are.
You. Have. No. Clue. And you are REALLY going to get your a** handed to you in this department. I’ll let this one come as a surprise to you, and leave it at that.
Am I making parenthood sound awful to you? I realize this is coming off a little harsh. But the truth is, being a parent is the hardest, most rewarding, amazing job there is. So even when you’re exhausted, can’t find time to clean/cook/exercise, have minimal date nights, and barely see your friends….being home with that sweet little boy of yours tops it ALL. The first time he smiles at you, holds your hand, says “mama”, and squeals in delight….your heart will keep melting over and over and over again. And you will be so overwhelmed with love for that little babe that you’ll be sure your heart will explode.
It will be challenging, but eventually you will find a routine for yourself. Please remember self-care is super important. That may seem impossible at first, but you WILL find time to squeeze in a CrossFit workout even if it’s not as frequently as you like. But you learn to get creative in this area, because it’s something that makes you feel good and is great to relieve some work stress. Meal planning and cleaning will be your weak spots, but you learn to make that work too.
But just know that you are an incredible mother. Even on those days where you feel like a failure or like you’re doing everything wrong, just remember that little boy is so blessed to have you as his mama. And you are blessed to have him! He teaches you new things about yourself every day. And his love for you is unconditional, as is yours for him. You are superwoman, and while you can’t see that just yet, there will be days you ask yourself, “How DO I manage to do all of this while remaining sane?” And it’s because of your incredible partner in life, that sweet husband of yours, that amazing father to your son…who is so supportive, kind, understanding, and is always there to pick up the pieces when you feel like you’ve dropped them all. You are so blessed beyond words.
You did well, kid. You did well. And I can’t wait for you to see the view from over here.
Your Future Mom Self