Landon,

(My boo bear, bubs, boo-boo, stinky butt, and every other ridiculous name I’ve called you 🙂 )

I often think back to my high school years and how badly I wanted to be in my mid-twenties, married, and possibly starting a family. Now that I’m all of those things, I just want time to slow down. Funny how that works. When you’re younger, you just want to be older, and then when you’re older, you’re wishing you could find a way to stop the clock.

I have no clue where this past year has gone.

One year ago today, you decided you’d had enough in that belly of mine and joined our world, two weeks early. Your labor story is one I’ll never forget, and let me just say..I’m so appreciative of how quickly you came out (and that you came early, let’s be truthful here. Your mom was uncomfortable!). But to be honest, your mom was really scared of having you. I remember thinking, mid-push, I’m not ready to be a mom, what if I’m not good enough! 

This past year has been the most challenging, yet rewarding year of my life. I’ve grown in ways I didn’t even know existed. As a person, a friend, a wife, and most importantly, a mother. You have helped me experience a kind of love that shakes me to my core. I have learned how to be patient, even when I hate being patient. I have learned how to adapt. I have learned that really I have no control of things, and how to be a bit more flexible. And how to let things go.

You are the absolute light of my world. Your daddy and I spent countless nights praying so hard for you, begging God to bless us with you. We experienced loss and great sadness while waiting for your arrival, which made it that much more special when you finally joined us. I know everyone says you love all your children the same, but something tells me that even when you have a few siblings, you and I will always have a special bond. You are my “rainbow” baby, you were the calm after the storm. You were light in a time of darkness, a beautiful gift from God. And while you weren’t the first to make me a mama, you were the first to let me mother you on this earth. I cherish that in ways I cannot even describe.

I am so in love with every piece of you. From the hairs on the back of your neck, down to your little piggy toes. Your toothy smile, your infectious laugh, and the way you copy my facial expressions. I love the excitement on your face when I walk in from work, and those open mouth sloppy wet kisses. And the way you smile and calm when I sing “our” song, I love you, I love you, I really really love you…You never fail to show me how much love you have for your mama (and your dada for that matter!). Your little personality is shining through, and you are clearly just like your mother (a little dramatic, and sometimes whiny, but love to laugh!).  I love watching you explore and discover new things, and I know this will just get more and more exciting as the years go on.

I wish I could make time slow down. Lately I’ve found myself just watching you, in awe of this beautiful little human we created, drinking up your every laugh, smile, tear. If this year has proved anything, it’s just how right people are when they say “time flies.” So today, we celebrate YOU. All 12 months of you!

At 1 year old, you are:

Walking!
Have 10 teeth (your first year molars just popped through, that was so fun)
Clapping and waving.
Saying “mama,” “dada,” “Mo,” amongst some other words we can’t really decipher
Sleeping through the night (<—you’re so awesome, thank you for catching on with this quickly!)
Into EVERYTHING. Like. Everything.
Love your dog Ammo.
Love avocados, bananas, strawberries, broccoli, cauliflower, and roasted yellow squash.
Prefer all of Ammo’s toys over the countless dollars worth of toys we’ve purchased for you.
Love anything with water. The bath. The pool. The dog’s bowl.
Give hugs and kisses.
Love to stick your fingers in our noses. (<–I don’t get that one).
Love to read, especially Peek-A-Who and The ABC Book.
Clearly love yoga because you’ve been doing a downward dog position a lot lately (<–I also don’t get this one).
Trying so hard to climb. Especially in the fridge.

This year has been so fun watching you develop into a little boy with such a vibrant personality. Thank you for all the joy you bring us in our life. I can’t remember the years before you being nearly as sweet! Happy first birthday, my best boy. Your mama loves you with every single piece of her body and soul. You are, by far, my proudest accomplishment in my (almost) 28 years of life.

Always,

Your “Mamama”