As I raise my children, I often think back to my own childhood. I think back to the times I was bullied in school, the way other people made me feel, the constant need to feel accepted. How I felt too skinny, too tall, too “ugly.”  How body image played and still plays such a big role in our society. And it pains me to think my children may experience the same thing, especially my daughter. My goal is to raise confident children who know their value without needing the approval of others. But I still can’t help but be concerned about the skewed views society places in our minds on a daily basis. Today I’m back partnering with Affinitas to share a little about my plan as a mother to raise confident children. 

We live in a world where boobs are sexualized instead of being viewed as a means to feed our babies. There are expectations for the “perfect” size 0 frame. There are women trying to achieve a “thigh gap” or getting Brazilian Butt Lifts for a larger backside. And there are even contouring make-up kits specifically for contouring body parts instead of faces. Did you know you can contour your arms? Because I just learned that’s a thing. I keep getting emails about contouring my legs, and it’s taking all of me to not respond with W.T.F.?

This HAS to stop.

This constant need to change ourselves to fit society’s perception of perfection needs to stop.

I don’t want my daughter feeling this pressure to look perfect. I want her to know she is perfect just the way God created her. That every single part of her is beautiful, and there’s no such thing as a flaw. How can there be flaws on such a beautiful creation? Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, inside and out. And I especially do not want my daughter feeling like she needs to impress any of the boys she will come across in her lifetime. I want her to have self-confidence and never feel the need to change herself for another person. It took me 21 years to learn that, and I met my husband when that finally happened. And you know what? I’ve never felt the need to change myself for him. Because from the start, he has always made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. And 9 years later, this still rings true. I want THAT for my daughter. But I know that is only going to start with how we raise her.

And this doesn’t stop with my daughter. We need to raise our son the same as well. I want my son to understand that a woman’s body is beautiful no matter how it looks. That women come in all shapes and sizes, and there is no “perfect” way to look. When he gets older, I never, ever want him to make a girl feel like she is not worthy of being loved. And this starts by the words that come out of our mouths, the words we speak to each other and to our children. It starts with me watching what I say, and avoiding the “I feel fat” or “I look like crap” comments. It’s followed by my husband reinforcing beauty within instead of just on the outside. Our children learn from our words and our behavior, so it’s crucial that we watch our tongues.

(Photos by Alicia Ann Photographers)

Sweatshirt: c/o ILY Couture // Jeans: American Eagle (similar) // Shoes: Soludos

I pray that if we pay close attention to this, we can break society’s views of perfection. Body image is such an important piece of raising confident children because of the skewed perspective society is placing on men and women everywhere. And we have to change it.

If you remember my last post, Affinitas shares this same goal through their more powHERful campaign! Today we are giving away a set from their Gabriella collection that you see above to one lucky lady. Enter via the widget below! GOOD LUCK!

One set of Lingerie from Affinitas Gabriella Collection

Affinitas