The Truth About Breastfeeding March 8, 2018
Thank you to BAE the Label for partnering with me on today’s post!
If you follow me on Instagram stories, I shared a little breastfeeding update with you guys on how things were going with Austin. I had major difficulty breastfeeding Landon which resulted in exclusively pumping, and I was very successful (much to my surprise) breastfeeding Noelle. I went into this third time with a positive attitude knowing fed is best, and decided to not get stressed if things didn’t work out. I’m happy to say things are going well, but I know this isn’t the case for everyone. Today I’m sharing The Truth About Breastfeeding with you mamas in case some of you are in the throes of those early weeks too.
With Landon, I had zero breastfeeding help from the nurses in the hospital. In fact, they told me they were “too busy to help right now,” and instructed me to feed him hand expressed colostrum with a syringe. I obviously knew nothing about breastfeeding back then, and I didn’t have anyone with me who did either. I was evaluated by multiple lactation consultants who told me it “shouldn’t hurt,” and who tried shoving Landon on my boob in a variety of really awkward and uncomfortable (and unnatural) positions. I was overwhelmed, in pain, stressed beyond belief…and looking back, most likely had some PPD as a result. It was brutal, and as I previously said, I ended up pumping exclusively.
With Noelle, and now Austin, I’m happy to say my experience has been entirely different. But here’s what I’ve learned during this entire process, which I’m sure some of you can relate to.
Breastfeeding DOES hurt.
It hurts a LOT. And YES, this is due to a poor latch. But here’s the thing…it’s rare babies come out latching perfectly. It takes a bit of time to get the hang of it and LEARN each other. Babies mouths are all different sizes, and our boobs are all different shapes and sizes. And once engorgement hits, it changes things up again (which usually happens when we get home from the hospital with no help!). But until we figure it out together, we will most like experience some pain from the process. My nipples are SIGNIFICANTLY better 4 weeks into breastfeeding Austin because 1. he’s bigger which means his mouth is a little bigger, and 2. we’ve figured it out together.
It takes time.
It most likely won’t happen overnight. In fact, it will most likely take weeks. And that’s okay. I promise you aren’t alone! Sometimes it’s helpful to find a breastfeeding support group where you can ask for help or share experiences with others!
It’s NOT easy.
I’ll never understand when people say breastfeeding is easy. If it comes easy to you, that’s amazing! But it surely hasn’t for me or many other mamas I know. And this is what NO ONE tells you going into it. I feel like if I knew it was going to be hard and has realistic expectations, I might not have been as stressed. If breastfeeding is what you’re choosing to do, get help from lactations consultants (I prefer to have them come to my home to evaluate the spots I’m nursing in and to help get baby in the best position!), La Leche League support groups, and other resources available to you!
It’s emotional.
Hormones are ablazin’ with breastfeeding, and emotions can run wild. This week I was incredibly and irrationally pissed off at my husband because his nipples are basically worthless while I’m the one feeding all day. Again…irrational. But that’s what happens when you’re sleep deprived with raging hormones! There are many emotions that come with breastfeeding, especially the weaning process. No one tells us this!
It’s okay if you choose not to for any of these reasons. Or can’t at all.
Fed is best. Fed is best. Fed is best. We do not drive this home enough to new moms. It’s okay if you give breastfeeding a shot and decide it’s not for you. It’s okay if you decide you don’t want to try at all. Some moms deal with low milk production and aren’t able to breastfeed, and some babies end up in the NICU with mom unable to breastfeed. Whatever the situation, as long as your baby is fed, that’s all that matters. And we need to stop judging moms on the decisions they make to care for their babies.
At 4 weeks, Austin and I are doing great. His latch has significantly improved, my pain is next to nothing (only occasionally when he narrows his latch..something he does from time to time when he’s getting tired), and little man is packing on the weight! This has been the easiest breastfeeding experience by far, and hopefully it continues to move in the right direction. I feel like I’ve learned so much from my experiences, and I can only hope that one day I can obtain my IBCLC to help other mamas as well (a plan I have for the future when the kids are all in school!).
If you are breastfeeding, you know finding clothing to accommodate can sometimes be a challenge 😉 I’m wearing this adorable sweatshirt from BAE the Label’s feedwear line that gives me easy access to the boobs when it’s time for this little guy to eat! They have a variety of feedwear options for the modern mom to make breastfeeding a little easier. I love that brands like BAE the Label are making clothing more boob accessible while still looking stylish. And the best part is they can be worn after breastfeeding too! In fact, BAE the Label’s entire line is created with this in mind. I have a variety of dresses from them that I wore while pregnant that I’ll definitely wear again in my postpartum period. I love the versatility the brand offers!
The best part is BAE the Label has offered an exclusive coupon code for Lauren McBride readers! You can get free shipping on orders over $100 with the code LAURENXBAE.
I’d love to hear about your breastfeeding experience in the comments below. Do you agree with my “truths” above, or was it easier for you? Please share and interact with our community so mamas feel less alone on their own journey!
With my daughter I was so thankful that she patched perfectly right away. I could not believe how quickly it happened and I felt like I was off to a great start especially not knowing anything about breastfeeding and being a mom. But my nipples felt like they wanted to fall off by the third day I was in so much pain. She was also a cluster feeder which I never knew anything about. I was miserable for weeks. But we both adjusted and got through it and it got better! It’s so much harder than I ever thought it would be, but I had to learn to give myself a little grace.
Pretty sure our breast feeding experiences are the same! I also did not have much help or support with my first daughter and ended up exclusively pumping, now with my second it’s a completely different experience. I have joined a breastfeeding group that is extremely helpful! They even weigh the baby before and after you feed to see how much she is getting which is awesome! Seeing your baby pack on the pounds is such an amazing feeling, like you must be doing something right! Love following you and listening to your stories 🙂
So thankful you’re providing a place for us to dialogue about breastfeeding. ‘Fed is best.’ Took me a long time to be ok with that. 8 week’s of lactation consultants, lip and tongue tie issues and shallow latch led me to release myself from the stress of trying to figure out breastfeeding with my first child. We were both so much happier when I wasn’t crying during feedings. Although, pumping for 13 months is NO picnic. 20 months later I had twins(!). Same issues with shallow latch and tongue tie times 2! I pumped much sooner but did the best thing I could have done. Since I was dealing with some PPD, as well, I set 4 goals for myself. Each day: shower, nap, leave the house (coffee drive thru, walk, something) and try to breastfeed one of the twins once- not when they were super hungry and I was stressed, but when we were relaxed. I’m thrilled to say that at 5 months, I was exclusively breastfeeding both boys and returned that darn pump to the hospital. One thing that irked me was that after both deliveries, the hospital nurses told me the. Shoes were hungry and needed some supplement until my milk came in. I didn’t know any better. I mean, who wants to starve their baby?! So I used formula, through the syringe at the breast. Awkward! Milk doesn’t come in for a few days, so obviously God designed babies to survive that. But I listened to them instead of my gut. Frustrating. After it’s all said and done, all 3 of my babies were well-fed and I bonded with them all equally.
In tears a week ago I made goals to shower daily and leave the house in some manner because it breaks up the marathon of breastfeeding. Glad I’m not the only one with these goals.
So crazy that we have to vocalize those things as a ‘goal’ for them to possibly happening. Good for you!
Those are such good goals to have. That’s awesome you were able to set four positive things to do for yourself even while in the midst of having ppd. ???? I’ll have to share this with some of my friends.
We had our first child October 2017. I knew I wanted to breast feed for at least 6 months. Never even crossed my mind that I would have trouble with breastfeeding. I went to the lactation consultant multiple times because my daughters latch was not correct. So I started to pump all day all night I actually felt like a cow. ( and we live on a cow farm so there were some jokes made haha) After some Dr appointments I found out my daughter was actually losing weight my Dr put me in a hormone pill to increase my milk supply and I still didn’t have enough milk. I was so tired and stressed out about pumping, trying to feed her enough. I finally decided to put my daughter in formula. My daughter is now 4 months old and has been on full formula since 1 month old and she is thriving, happy and healthy. I as well feel like a weight lifted off me when I started her on formula. Knowing I could provide her with enough food made me so happy. Fed is best! To all you Moms out there … do whatever is best for YOU and YOUR BABY! Love to all you moms out there! Xo
I had a similar issue where my baby would not latch and even after lactation counselor, 2 Lactation consultants at the NiICU and the consultant who saw him the day after he was born and one month later we realized he had a lip AND tongue tie! We got it fixed, but by then I was extremely sleep deprived from pumping around the clock and postpartum depression set in . I had enough in my freezer to feed him but he had a horrible diaper (bleeding) rash too and we weren’t sure what that was from . Felt like I was failing as a mother (and nurse) . We switched to formula after I got on my knees and prayed to God and cried to my husband . One and a half days after switching to formula his diaper rash completely healed. Over the next four months we gave him my breastmilk once a day . He is niw a happy and healthy nine-month-old. Fed is best for baby and Mum! Side note: We (as Mums) need our sanity to function and care for our LO’s. My husband is a God-send for taking care of our LO while I laid around nauseated and miserable with PPD. Thankfully I got counseling and quit pumping which helped tremendously. Hormones are NO joke! I prayed for this baby and finally had him and wsnted to run away.
It wasn’t easy.
My first struggle was I was blind. I had an eye disease that left me blind by the time my baby was born (I had surgery and saw her for the first time at 10 months old)
Struggle 2: I wasn’t producing enough for her.
I breastfed, pumped AND supplemented. At 5 months old (right before my first surgery) I decided to use formula exclusive knowing I was preparing for surgery and struggling to produce it made sense and I don’t feel guilty or ashamed or like a failure, I feel thankful for it all. We all need to make decisions for us and we need to be comfortable with our choices and not compare or judge because you never know the full story behind the choices others make. Support, embrace and encourage!
Hi Lauren! Thanks so much for sharing. My son Troy will be 10 months old next week and our breastfeeding journey started out terrible. Thankfully, I have a very supportive mom who tried to prepare me by explaining that it might be difficult in the beginning, but I had no idea just how hard it would be. Just like you, the nurses in the hospital seemed too busy to help, and when they did, it was always rushed and trying to position us in uncomfortable ways. I ended up feeding him colostrum from a syringe most of the time we were in the hospital. Once my milk came in, my breasts were extremely engorged and I definitely had an oversupply. He was having such a hard time latching and the pain was excruciating. I was exhausted, still in pain from giving birth, and feeling like I was failing my son. I ended up with an abscess from the engorgement and had to see a breast surgeon multiple times. I would google ways to improve his latch and everything I read said, “It shouldn’t hurt.” Thankfully, his match started to improve, my abscess cleared, and we finally got into a groove. I am so happy I stuck with it, but I really wish I would have known more beforehand, and that I had a lactation consultant come to my home. It is reassuring to hear you’re not alone, so thank you for sharing!
If I would’ve come across a blog post like this in my early weeks of breastfeeding I probably would’ve made it a lot longer!
Me too!!!!!!!
Breastfeeding was so so so hard for me! I never “got it”, and we only lasted 2.5 months. I actually wrote a very long blog post about it so I will leave the link for that. I haven’t read it in a while, but went back to read it today, and oh man the emotions came right back!! HARDEST TIME OF MY LIFE. PERIOD. Post Linked>>>>>>>>>>>>
http://haleyleighanne.com/2016/10/our-breastfeeding-story.html
With my first I was not allowed to breastfeed because of medications I was on, I was super upset that I wasn’t able to feed my daughter naturally but, my husband was able to take late night feeds and I had a crazy job so it worked. With my second I was determined to breastfeed and I did, for two months. I had to exclusively pump. She was born premature and her mouth was not big enough to latch on to me or a bottle. After a few weeks of pumping I got mastitis 3 times and my doctor told me I had to stop because I am allergic to a lot of antibiotics….meaning if I kept trying and I got it again, it could be deadly or put me in the hospital! She’s healthy and happy now though so that’s all I can ask!
I agree with all the “truths”! With my first, all I kept reading and hearing was that it shouldn’t hurt when done correctly. We had a great latch but it hurt on and off for about 6 weeks and I ended up nursing for almost 15 months. With my second, he tore my nipples up. Wasn’t it supposed to be easier since I was experienced now? After some APNO ointment, we were good after 4 weeks and nursed for a year. Now with my third, I again had significant pain for the first 2-3 weeks. He was diagnosed with a tongue/lip tie at 3 weeks by my LC and a pediatric dentist, but based on my previous experiences I decided to wait one more week to see if things improved before getting anything corrected. Sure enough, a week or two later, baby was bigger and the pain reduced and now at 8 weeks pain is nonexistent. It’s painful for a short while that seems to last forever. But once that hurdle is crossed, it’s the best experience.
I am a new mom to an almost 3 week old baby boy. I was hoping to breastfeed (nurse) as I have heard how much better it is for babies. After delivery he was put on oxygen and given fluids through his IV. He stayed in the special care nursery for over a day but I was able to come in and try to nurse him. There are lactation consultants at the hospital I delivered at but they always seemed to appear when I wasn’t nursing. They gave me tips but it was hard to nurse my baby with all the wires hanging from him and in an uncomfortable rocking chair. When he was finally able to come to our room I continued to try and nurse him, but man did it hurt! I would also become stressed because he was having a really hard time latching, when this happened he would also appear to become stressed which was hard for me. Not knowing how much he was eating was hard and I felt as if he was never getting enough. On the day we were scheduled to go home we found out he had jaundice and we had to stay two more days at the hospital for him to get treatment. He went back to the special care nursery and again had cords hanging from him. The jaundice made him extremely tired which also made it hard for him to latch and nurse. Since he was only allowed to be out of the light for 30 mins and eating and having BMs is the best way to get rid of jaundice I would nurse for 20 min and then my fiancé would supplement with formula for the last 10min. I continued to try to nurse once we got rid of the jaundice but I still felt like he was not getting enough and was constantly hungry. When we came home I decided to go ahead and start pumping because it eased my mind that he was getting enough. I would try to nurse then my fiancé would feed him the pumped breast milk. This lasted for a few days but he was still having a hard time latching. Now I still try to nurse occasionally but he is mostly fed pumped breast milk. Knowing what I know now I will try and nurse with my next child but I will be able to look up different things before the arrival and know a little bit more from experience. All in all my little boy has already passed his birth weight and is eating like a champ so I am happy with my decision to pump.
Thank you for your blog post, it is a relief to know that nursing doesn’t come easy.
This experience is so similar to mine! Good luck to you mama!
I had hoped and planned to breastfeed my first born. She came out and fed straight for 20 minutes like a champ. She latched perfectly and seemed to be doing really well. The next day was a completely different story. She wouldn’t latch, we had a lactation consultant come, nurses help, I was pumping to stimulate because she wouldn’t latch because of having a tongue sucking issue. We finger fed her for the first week of her life and I would pump every time she ate to hopefully stimulate my supply. After a few days of nothing working we decided we would keep supplementing with formula or gonstaright to formula but Iwasn’t ready to give up yet. In the end, I pumped exclusively for 4 months. The most I ever got from a pumping session was 4 oz total. I had some AMAZING friends who gave me there breastmilk so my daughter could have that versus formula. At four months I had to decide if then stress I was dealing with was really worth it. I decided I was going to give up trying to make it work and it was THE BEST decision for myself and my family. I was so relieved not to have to worry over how much I was/wasn’t going to get when I pumped and feeling like a failure for not being able to give my daughter what she needed and feeling like my body had failed me. I was crushed to not be able to but at the end of the day my well-being was important and in the end I feel I’m a better mom because I get that extra time to love on her 🙂 It’s all about what works for you and your family. The decision is YOURS. Screw the people who give you their opinion. They’re YOUR boobs and it’s YOUR baby. You make the choice and in the end as long as your baby is eating, healthy and happy that’s all that matters!
Love this! It surely isn’t easy learning how to breastfeed. I didn’t think learning would be considered a difficult time but it takes some serious dedication! However, I had an excellent lactation consultant in the hospital that (in the 4 days I was there) I felt comfortable doing it (mostly) by the end of my stay. My biggest struggle during breastfeeding was my dips in my supply. I’m still not sure if it was actual dips or if I was just being paranoid. If I could go back I think I would’ve just stuck with it. My child wasn’t acting hungry, I was just terrified she wasn’t getting enough. She was gaining as she should and everything. So my biggest advice would be that OBVIOUSLY fed is best but if you choose to breastfeed, hang in there. It’s just like having a baby. Once you get over one obstacle and you think you have it figured out, you start going through another. You got this mama! And for those who choose to not breastfeed, you’re no less of a mom for it. You are awesome! ❤️
Thank you for this post. I had my first baby three weeks ago and due to many issues, struggled significantly with breastfeeding. Before having her, I believed “fed is best” and even told my husband with my pre-existing boob issues, if it didn’t happen, I would be okay with it. Well. Then I had her and all logic went out the window. I was a mess and felt so guilty that I couldn’t do this. I saw lactation consultants, chugged Fenugreek and water and made special lactation cookies to eat. But she still was losing weight. So after only about two weeks, I switched to formula. Honestly I still feel like I failed and wonder if I gave up too easily, even though I know she needed to gain weight (and thankfully now is). And I can logically understand and be grateful that I have a happy and healthy baby, but I’ve found so far that being a mom is weird with all the emotions that come with it. Anyway just wanted to thank you for posting this for a new mom who very much needed to read it.
Thank you for being so honest!! My daughter is 11 months and I nursed her exclusively for 4 months, supplemented until 6 months and then I was done. I still struggle with the decision emotionally even though I know it made sense logically for my situation. I think the pure emotional weight of becoming a mother is something I never anticipated!
It’s.so.hard. My daughter will be 4 months next Saturday and I’m pretty sure I’m going to start weaning then. I work full time and pumping is SO much work and the stress is interfering with enjoying being a mom and enjoying my life with my baby. Plus my little one has a dairy allergy and egg allergy and it’s been exhausting trying to figure out what I can eat that won’t affect her, and even then sometimes she’ll have a skin reaction and I have to retrace my steps on what I ate to see what she could be having a reaction to. I’ve started supplementing and it’s already helped so much. I want to be able to enjoy my life with my baby, not be consumed with breastfeeding which is such a small part of our journey.
With my first child I had an emergency c-section and he was then rushed to the NICU so I wasn’t able to see him until 8 hours after I had him. I then wasn’t allowed to hold him because of all the cords that he was hooked up to. I didn’t actually hold my son until he was a day old. By then he was given a nook and the Lactation consulated was TERRIBLE and was no help at all. I had no idea what I was doing so I didn’t decided to exclusely pump for as long as possible. When it came time to have my second child my hubby and I talked about it and decided that stressing about it wasn’t going to happen. I had another c-section but wasn’t able to hold my daughter right away but since I hadn’t been able to breastfeed the first time I had no clue if I was doing it right or anything and I started stressing so I pumped for a month and then switched to formula.
I looked forward to breastfeeding the moment I found out I was pregnant. It took my husband and I 10 years to successfully conceive. The bond that comes with breastfeeding is what I looked forward to most. At 12 week I was placed on bedrest for threatened miscarriage. At 28 weeks I began to experience pre-term contractions. At 40 weeks exactly, my son was born. I was so excited to breastfeed and experience that bond. I did not take any classes prior to delivery due to being on bedrest, and the only knowledge I had was from the internet, and bloggers. I successfully got my son to latch the first time, then it went downhill from there. Within 12 hours, my nipples were bleeding. I had a lactation consultant (LC) come to see me in the hospital to see if my latch was good. She assured me it was and that bleeding is normal and would eventually go away as my nipples “toughened up.” By the time I was discharged home, my nipples had nice large scabs on them and were incredibly painful. I cringed every time I fed my son. But, I was determined to breastfeed! A couple days later, I began to experience what I thought were postpartum night sweats, was feeling exhausted most of the day, and my body ached. I called my OB and she assured me that what I was experiencing was my hormones regulating and was normal postpartum. A week goes by, and I was still experiencing the sweats, exhaustion, and achiness. My nipples were still scabbed, but I was still breastfeeding. I made an appointment to see a LC because something was not right. This is when I found out I had mastitis, ROUND ONE! (my OB gave me antibiotics)I was given a nipple shield, which was a god send, and instructed to pump if latching was too painful. I decided to pump until my scabs were gone then use the nipple shield until my pain was gone. This worked wonders! I know that a lot of people do not like using a nipple shield or pumping too soon, but it helped me so much. When my son was a month old, mastitis ROUND TWO! I was given antibiotics again, but I wanted to know why. I found out that I had an oversupply from pumping too soon. My body thought I needed to make more milk, so when I stopped pumping, the milk built up and I ended up with clogged ducts and mastitis. So, now I had to pump after every feeding to make sure that no milk was left behind. This was so incredibly exhausting. My life consisted of breastfeeding, pumping, washing pumping parts, and it was a never ending cycle. It was not how I pictured bonding with my son. But, I was determined to not give up. When my son was 3 months, he began sleeping through the night. I was so excited to get a full nights sleep. Well, mastitis ROUND THREE! One night of sleeping caused me to get a clogged duct that I could not relieve and infection set in. I took my third round of antibiotics and my OB suggested that I switch to formula. I felt like a failure. I know fed is best but it wasn’t about thinking that breast is best. It was about the bonding that I loved while breastfeeding. I didn’t give up. My son is now 5 months old and we are still exclusively breastfeeding. It has been an amazing and life changing experience. It took me several months to figure out my body and to regulate my milk production. Now, I am able to sleep through the night without pumping, I pump after the first morning feeding and then again right before bed. So many people made me feel that breastfeeding was not the right choice for me, but I am so glad that I stuck with it.
As I was reading your comment, I could almost feel the pain of mastitis, which is nothing like I ever felt before, and like you, three rounds before 6 months, and it is the worst :-(. When they latched on, I would grip the blankets and swear and I am not a curser, but it hurt so bad, I would just come out :-(. I nursed all three of my children (who all weighed in at over 10lbs at birth) until they were over a year old. The bonding is also like nothing else we can experience, but it doesn’t come easy. Pumping is hard, nursing is hard and cluster feeding is HARD. But in the end, (at least in my opinion) it was well worth all the positives that come along with breastfeeding. For us and for our babies. Some can’t, the supply isn’t there, so I felt like I needed to give it my all to make it work! And like you, I am glad I stuck with it for all of my babies! Good luck to you on your journey 🙂
Omg reading this post and all the comments brings back all the emotions. My sister is currently breastfeeding and is doing great at it. I had my baby girl July of 2015 and breastfed for 6 weeks. I simply stressed myself out- I questioned everything i was doing, I was told if I wasn’t nursing, I should be pumping every 3 hours… that was just too much! I thought it had to be perfect and therefore crumbled bc no one is perfect! I hope to have a 2nd child one day and hope to last much longer and not stress myself out! I will enjoy it and let it be!!
Totally agree with your truths!! I just had my first 3 weeks ago and I was fortunate that the little guy had a great latch from the moment he was put on my chest. However, a few days into it I started having sore nipples and excruciating pain when he first latched on. I can’t speak highly enough of the the lactation consultants that came to my rescue, including my incredible doula (highly reccommend hiring a doula – mine supported us prior to birth, during labor and delivery and postpartum!). I think it’s so important to ask for help when you need it! Don’t try to do this alone! Anyway, we changed up positions for both him and I and now, 3 weeks post partum, only my left nipple is slightly sore, my right feels totally good even when he yanks and pulls and goes a little crazy! So yes it hurts, it does take time, you do have to figure it out together, ask for help and fed is best no matter what!
Breastfeeding is hard! Both physically and emotionally. Yes it hurts physically from time to time but it can also take an emotional toll, especially in the early days. My advice is to hang in there and know that you aren’t alone. We don’t hear this enough but YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB, MAMA. I am still on my breastfeeding journey. My son will be 2 in May and I still breastfeed him at night. Do what works for you and your family. ☺️
Thank you for writing this post. It hits so close to home. I gave my all to breastfeed my first and lasted 2 weeks. I was a hot mess. I remember breaking down at my sons 3 day appt and then again at his 1 week. Looking back, I believe it’s what led to my PPD/anxiety. The pressure I put on myself, the stress, anxiety, anger etc., I felt like a complete failure. But after talking to more moms, including my own mom and MIL (who formula fed all 5 of their children and they are all perfectly healthy, smart, beautiful and successful) I realized that there was/is nothing wrong with formula feeding my baby. When I got pregnant with my second, I knew right away I wasn’t going to breastfeed. Now my second is 6 mos and I feel so guilty because I didn’t enjoy my first baby like I have my second because of all the pressure and anxiety I felt about breast feeding. At the end of the day you have to do what’s best for your baby AND you because what is equally as important is that you’re a happy and healthy mom. <3
As someone who had their first baby 3 weeks ago, I am all too familiar with the struggles of breastfeeding. I went in with the intent to breastfeed but a combination of late milk, bad Mastitis and then antibiotics, it didn’t work out and my baby is now on formula. I was surprised at how guilty I felt at “giving up” and feeding her formula even though it made everyone so much happier. So I really appreciate and want to thank you for always making a point to say “fed is best.” Even with the best of intentions sometimes it doesn’t work out and that’s ok! 🙂
Love this post so much. I feel like so often when a women doesn’t choose to make breastfeeding their entire life they are faced with judgment, criticism and advice believed to be helpful but can make you feel worse. With my first baby, it wasn’t so much the nursing that was the problem but I had so much trouble producing. His latch was really great from the very beginning but I feel like I tried EVERYTHING to boost my milk supply – I was drinking gallons of water, eating all the ‘milk boosting’ foods, taking supplements, and pumping. SO.MUCH.PUMPING. I swear if I wasn’t nursing or eating I was pumping. And after all of that, it still wasn’t enough and my little dude wasn’t gaining weight fast enough. About 5 weeks in I was told by my ped that I needed to supplement – I will never forget that moment and feeling of complete failure. However, once we started supplementing and baby started sleeping better and my husband could take more of an active role in nighttime feeding it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My first born is now 2 years old and healthy as ever! When I began seeing signs of the same experience a few weeks into baby number 2’s life, I told myself that I would not put myself through the same stress that I did last time. It was much easier to manage this time around and we have a solid system of breastfeeding and supplementing and things are happy in our household! All of that to say – everyone’s journey can be sooo different and no matter how you end up nourishing your little ones, fed is best and mama’s sanity matters!!!
My first baby girl lost a lot of weight in the hospital and nobody told us we should supplement her so she didn’t become weak. As a result her latch was incorrect and my milk didn’t really come in well. We then ended up in the cycle of nursing, pumping and supplementing and she still wasn’t gaining weight. I was crying all the time and so was she! Looking back I think I probably had some PPD. When she was 3 weeks old I decided to switch to bottle feeding anything I could pump and use formula too! Everything turned around after that!
My second girl (about 3 weeks old today) has been a totally different experience! I knew in the hospital that we should supplement and we did through about her first 10 days (sometimes only an ounce a day with a syringe). She had lost about 9% but was still able to latch and feed which helped my milk come in much better! Now we are exclusively breastfeeding! I definitely couldn’t have done it without my husbands full support and help with supplementing. Breastfeeding is also a total CONFIDENCE game! If you relax and believe you can do it it will come easier! Of course In many cases that is easier said than done! FED is BEST!
I am currently 35 weeks pregnant with my second and I do plan on breastfeeding this little one like I did my first! With my first I was able to nurse for a long, wonderful (yes sometimes hard) 14 months. The beginning was by no means easy. In the hospital when I first had her a lactation consultant did come by to see how we were doing and let us know the ins and outs of breastfeeding. Luckily, my little ones latch was great and there was nothing to really to fix. This doesn’t mean that it was easy! Once we were home my nipples were cracked and sore and no amount of nipple cream made them feel better. It hurt to shower, it hurt to wear a bra (even comfy ones). It sucked the life out of me whenever my little one would first latch on because of how sore and in pain I was. I remember calling my mom as she was on her way over to our house picking up some items for me from the store. I told her to pick up some baby formula. She of course asked why and I started crying and told her I just couldn’t do it anymore. She told me whatever decision I make is best for my baby but she really thinks I should just try for a little bit longer. So I did just that and although it was painful, after about 2 weeks I was no longer in any kind of pain. I believe fed is best so whatever works for you and your baby, do just that. But it also is normal to doubt yourself and want to give up nursing in the beginning. Who knows, maybe if you keep trying you’ll be able to do it too!
21 months ago as a first time mom breastfeeding was hard and painful. I put pressure on myself to make it work. My sister got me a Lactation consultant to come to my house and help me out. She determined that my son had a lip tie and that I should get him checked and cut and that would solve all my breastfeeding problems. My husband and I didn’t want our son cut so I just moved on in pain. As with you the pressures of breastfeeding, that I put on myself, no one was forcing me to breastfeed but I had read and heard that it was best for babies so I wanted nothing but the best for my child. But I noticed that my son was always crying. Always hungry so I caved and supplemented but also breastfed. I was also working full time then so I was pumping at work but my yield was never more than 2 or 3 oz both breasts combined. I did every Lactation treat and drink etc to increase my supply never really seeing an increase but continued to throw my money on these extras. Finally when my son was 9 months I found out I was pregnant again and my milk dried up. So my son was took the breast and was drinking the last of the pumped milk I was able to stock up for him. Fast forward to now and my baby girl is 5 months old and exclusively breastfeeding. Totally different experience from my first time. She latched better. I also went into this pregnancy and baby arrival with the mind set that I will go with the flow. If breastfeeding works for us I will continue but if it doesn’t I will not drive myself crazy forcing it. That helps and also I’m now a stay at home mom. I don’t have the stresses of leaving my babies and commuting to work and pumping at work. But I still had my challenges. I had my first bout of mastitis a month back and it was the worst feeling ever. I was thinking I was going to stop breastfeeding if this happens again but I did my research and am following what needs to be done to avoid it hopefully. I have also started pumping to start a reserve supply for her for when I’m not with her and she needs to feed with a bottle. We have tried formula but she will not drink it. If it’s not mami’s boob milk it’s not for her so that I hope is helping avoid any milk backups and clogs. Breastfeeding is not easy but I love knowing that I can and seeing her thrive day to day with it makes me very happy that I’m able to accomplish this task. ☺️
Thank you for sharing your experience! In the hospital with my daughter we tried latching many times but we were having issues getting it right because according to the wonderful in-hospital lactation consultant (this was at Vanderbilt and I feel like they did a great job helping me!) my nipples were being suppressed by my hormones meaning they had become sort of inverted and there wasn’t much for baby to grab onto so they gave me a nipple shield (which I had never even heard of!) and we ended up using that for 2 weeks. At 2 weeks it started getting painful with my nipples pulling through the nipple shield holes (ouch!) and we quit it cold turkey. We worked through the pain and the awkwardness and then were met with oversupply issues. I had forceful letdown and was making A LOT of milk and it was hard for my daughter to nurse because she was like drowning in milk! Well we started laid back nursing, and I would hand express first at let down and then put her back on once it slowed down. Eventually it all evened out. We are still nursing at 14 months (at night before bed and in the morning) even though I am currently 31 weeks pregnant! I don’t think she’s getting much if anything at all at this point but it’s a comfort thing for us both and I plan to continue for a little bit longer. Maybe having her to nurse first will help with forceful letdown with baby girl #2! Thanks for creating a space for us to talk about all this!
The pressures of breastfeeding I believe caused some PPD. A lot of crying and sadness. **
My son would not latch and screamed and screamed. I met with the lactation consultant and he only occasionally latched with the nipple shield. I felt so much anxiety as a first time mom that I just couldnt handle it. So I exclusively pumped for awhile which is very time consuming and not enjoyable in my opinion.
Love your post! I didn’t go into breastfeeding thinking it would be easy luckily. I think that helped me a lot. From the get-go I had problems with flat nipples, my daughter couldn’t latch whatsoever. I was given a nipple shield at the hospital which my daughter used for the first month and a half of her life (I got completely mom shamed for this unfortunately). I really struggled with that, thinking I’m not good enough because I had to use a nipple shield. Throughout the weeks, the nipple shield helped to draw my nipples out and I started weaning her off of it (sounds easy, but it was a ton of work that involed a lot of tears from both of us). Now, 5 months later she is pro. It took some time to get us here, but we are going strong!
As a side note, I I just can’t agree with the statement “fed is best” (and I know that’s okay). The milk that comes from the mother is the best possible milk to be giving a baby. It’s a scientific fact that when put under a microscope, formula doesn’t hold a candle to breastmilk. Breast is the best possible option. But it’s also not the only option. I am grateful for formula for many reasons and one being, adopted babies, like my husband, have something to nourish them! That being said, I completely agree it is absolutely no ones business how a mother feeds her baby. And I don’t understand the logic of people who think they need to give other moms their opinions.
New mom with a 3 week old (tomorrow). I saw a lactation specialist every day I was in the hospital and she helped teach me some different positions for feeding. His latch was great, but holy hell heading into week 3 I thought I was going to lose my nipple. My sister went and got me a shield and it helped exponentially, but now I’m concerned I’ll never have the confidence to feed without it. Your blog and stories encourage me to keep trying, remain calm, and know that whatever I do for the best of my little dude is the best I can do!
I used the shield in the hospital after night two of cluster feeding. Our LC said to make small goals to back away from using it – such as one time per day without it or every other feed without it
I used a shield too! It was scary to go without but I was so proud when I transitioned back! We had thrush super bad though and those shields literally helped me from screaming and crying when she would latch! It was awful!
Breastfeeding cane so naturally and was something I never anticipated loving so much… with my first. Now my second is two months old and came to find she wasn’t transferring milk properly and barely gained any weight for a few weeks. I’ve been pumping and supplementing and it’s been going well, but accepting this time was different was (and still is) extremely hard for me. But now she’s gaining like a champ and so much happy, and just knowing that makes me feel better about our current routine and hopeful I’ll be able to go back to nursing a happy, healthy baby.
So many typos… typing and feeding a baby ????
This is great. This is something I wish I’d read before I had my little girl. I went into with with no expectation and agree 100% FED IS BEST. I had a scheduled c-section and when we did skin to skin my little girl latched immediately. We did so too in the hospital I was convinced, I’m a breast feeding momma. I was certainly in pain and had lactation meet with us before we left the hospital. Once we got home, it was a completely different story. I came home to find out my father had been sick for and weeks & no one wanted to tell me before my surgery. Looking back I now think that stress is what hurt us. Baby girl refused to latch. She and I spent most days & nights crying until my husband intervened with a bottle & I would pump. I’d barely get an ounce, if anything at each pumping session. I was so discouraged after it had gone so well in the he hospital. It made me feel like a failure. I had so many supportive people. Even a best friend who struggled with supply. It didn’t matter I was heartbroken. I met with lactation twice. Brought baby girl to thto boob as often as possible, pumped after every single feeding while her daddy supplemented with formula. After 8 weeks of this she finally got it! We finally clicked and she’s been nursing perfectly ever since!! She does have trouble gaining because she has reflux, and I’ve had to cut out dairy but we have come so far and I am so proud of us! Breast feeding is a struggle & with the hormones it’s SO hard to not get discouraged. Thank you for bringing light to this.
My sweet sweet baby girl was a nightmare to breastfeed. She had a touch of colic and just really struggled. She would cry because she was hungry and then I would go to nurse her and she would kick and flail around because her tummy hurt while she was eating, but if I stopped she would immediately cry again. It was SUCH a lonely feeling being the only person who could feed her and who understood just how hard this all really was. I was sleep deprived and scared; Was she getting enough? Was I doing something wrong? Why was she like this? I would look at other mother’s out at restaurants casually nursing their babies under their smocks and feel so defeated. My daughter was not like that, it was always a process with her, and sometimes it would take hours for one feeding. She would cry, kick and knock every smock off, leaving me exposed in the middle of the restaurant if I ever tried that. After a couple depressing months of that I started pumping so at least I could ask for help on occasion with feedings and I could monitor how much she was getting. That helped a little but pumping is pretty awful for its own reasons. At about 6 months she still wasn’t gaining enough weight so we started supplementing with formula. The only one that she could digest was, of course, the priciest organic, lactose-free formula that I could find at the store, but I didn’t even care at that point, as long as she could tolerate it. By 10 months we switched completely over to formula. My goal was 12 months but I couldn’t any longer, I felt like I was a slave to her feeding schedule and I so badly wanted my body to feel like my own again… It had been almost 20 months since conception and for that whole time my body seemed to belong more to her than to me, and I was ok with that, I was proud the amazing things my body had accomplished during that time, but I was just ready, ready to feel like myself again. I knew doing this would help me to be a better mother; I could actuallu enjoy my time with my child instead of feeling constantly stressed over feedings. Anyway, that is my story… Sorry it was so long but I hope it helps other women to know they are not alone.
Thanks again Lauren, Ltd so important for pregnant & new moms that there is “help” if they are having any concerns with breastfeeding. La Leche League groups, their hospital & a LC.
When I had my son I had every intention of breast feeding for as long as I could. It was initially hard because my milk wasn’t coming in like it was supposed to and my nipples hurt constantly. After a few weeks things started to normalize but I still felt like I hated breast feeding. I couldn’t explain it. Every time it came to feed him I loathed it and I felt clostrophic. I felt like I needed my own space and like I couldn’t bond with him because of this feeling. After about 3 months of going through this my husband and I decided to switch to formula and it was by far the best decision we made. For a while I felt like such a disappointment and failure as a mom. That I was blessed with a baby that latched and was a good eater but that I couldn’t handle it as a mom. I felt like I let down my son and like I wasn’t doing justice to feeding him and keeping him healthy. But now, 7 months into feeding him formula I can honestly say it was the best choice for me. I got to be close to my son and he is so healthy.
I was completely unprepared for what breastfeeding would be like! Everyone kept telling me it’s so natural & babies come out of the womb knowing how to latch. I’m guessing these people didn’t breastfeed themselves, don’t have a clear memory of it, or just got really lucky. I spent the first three months of my daughter’s life giving breastfeeding my all & feeling like I was failing. I look back now & don’t even know how I got through all the stress of having my baby’s nutrition solely on my shoulders. I saw a Lactation nurse in the hospital & then a La Leche League consultant at home. It was later determined that my baby had a tongue tie so we went to a specialist to have that corrected & nothing improved. I wanted so badly to give my baby the “best” nurtrition & I felt like I would be a bad mother if I gave my baby formula. I remember being in my postpartum hospital room & right in front of my bed was a large poster on the wall showing a mother breastfeeding her baby with “Breast is best”. That’s all I ever saw on the subject & at no point during my three month struggle did anyone (besides my husband) tell me it would be fine if I switched to formula. Anyway, before this gets too long (!), I’ll just say that at three months I switched to formula & pumped several times a day to bottlefeed until I dried up a few weeks later. My baby LOVED getting full from her feedings finally & she’s now a happy & chunky 8 month old. Fed is best! Thank you for your honesty & openness!
I had to supliment with my son, Holt right off the bat. He had breast milk jaundice, which means my breast milk was actually making his jaundice worse. After his jaundice went away I tried everything to get my supply back up to what he needed but it never did. So at 11 weeks I stopped breast feeding him and went to all formula. I tried it. Loved it. Gave it all I had and that’s all we can do. I will try again with my next.
Breastfeeding is so hard and you have to be so determined to continue and push through those first few weeks. After doing my own research, I decided to have my baby evaluated for a tongue/lip tie after my dentist husband confirmed my suspicions. After a call to our hospitals lactation consultants, I discovered they were not allowed to evaluate or advise on ties after their jobs were threatened by disagreeing pediatricians. Being a nurse myself this blew my mind! How can you not advocate in every way possible for your patients?!! I finally found help through another hospitals breastfeeding support group and their lactation consultant confirmed what I knew and sent me to a pediatric dentist. She did a laser repair of his upper lip and tongue. After a few weeks of practice and strengthening exercises, we were finally able to nurse pain free. Thank goodness for the support of those moms who encouraged me and promised we would get through it. Breastfeeding is hard work don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! I’m so glad we overcame all these challenges because it has been the most rewarding thing and so much easier now that we have it down. There isn’t enough information in my area about tongue/lip ties. Not only can they be a problem for breastfeeding, but also when you introduce solids, speech difficulties, and even things like migraines in adulthood. Mamas keep caring for your little ones no matter what it takes and support those around you!
I had a very similar experience with my son. Nursing did not come easily and it took months to feel like we found our groove. I believe it was a combination of him having reflux and me having a forceful let down. I was a major “over-producer,” which was a good thing in some ways, but I often had to pump to comfort after feedings. My Lactation consultant was amazing and so encouraging-she gave me several helpful tips and informed me that my body seemed to be prepared to feed twins or triplets. ???? The engorgement was CRAZY. There were MANY times where he would only take a bottle, which meant he would be crying while I’m trying to pump….it was exhausting. I referred to my pump as my ball and chain. I never knew whether he would nurse at the next feeding or if I’d have to pump so i brought it everywhere I went. I also dealt with mastitis twice. It was absolutely agonizing. I honestly thought I might die-it was the worst pain/sickness I had ever experienced and after the 2nd round of that I gave up and switched to formula. He was almost 10 months by then and I felt that I had given it my best shot. Im having baby #2 in just 4 days and I’m hoping that this experience is better! ????????
I’m so glad you said these things. Makes me sigh with relief. Breastfeeding is hard! I didn’t think it would be this hard!
Lauren this post couldn’t be closer to the truth about breastfeeding! After my firstborn my saying was “breastfeeding is the most unnatural natural thing”. For the first two weeks, I had terrible pain to the point I would cringe and wanted to scream when he fed. I searched the Internet, called support, asked other mothers and all I could find was “if it hurts you’re doing it wrong”. I would think to myself and tell others “if I sucked on any other part of my body for 5 hours out of the day… I’m pretty sure it would be raw and hurt as well.” So I just kept feeding and fighting through the pain. Thankfully someone advised me to give it to two weeks, because dang if it wasn’t day 15 when the pain started to subside. My next challenge was all the comments “ oh my gosh he just ate, he can’t be hungry again”, “if you gave him formula he’d stay full longer”, and “my things have changed” (when I fed him at a restaurant table under a muslin). Thankfully, I made it until baby boy wanted to bite me for giggles at 10 months.
Now I have a 5 week old. It was slightly uncomfortable at the beginning to get his latch right. In the hospital it felt like I didn’t know what I was doing again. I asked/begged the nurses for any advice. They each seemed to try and help, but gave differing advice. One nurse told me “that might have worked in the recovery room but you’ll be in a lot of pain and that won’t last”. I think she saw I was getting frustrated and she said “I have 6 kids and I breastfed them all”. I was pretty much like okay lady here is my body and baby, HALP! I believe the pain and uncomfortableness from the csection was making it difficult to relax enough to feed. Which is very important!
Breastfeeding is very hard. There’s a reason men’s nipples don’t produce milk ????
Oh the ignorant comments people make kill me! “You’re smothering him” “Why are you looking in there?” (When peaking to check latch) “Let her out!!!… she can’t breathe under there!”
I found that telling the joke “yeah she likes her milk best on tap” helps bridge the conversation to be less awkward.
LOVE THIS! FTM and my son is 5 months today. He spent a couple days in the NICU for low blood sugar after delivery so I had to walk across the hospital from my room to him 24/7 to breastfeed. I was so sleep deprived and we struggled to breastfeed- it was TOUGH for sure. I wish I read something like this before having him. I wish I knew it would hurt for awhile until he learned to latch properly. He practically bit my nipple off at 2 days old and I had a scab for awhile (ouch). I wish I knew about getting engorged and all the pain from that! It isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It can be beautiful and I love the bond, but that’s NOT all the time. Happy to say we are still EBF… thank you for sharing this, I love following you and your beautiful family
This post is so great! For me, it honestly came easily. My first son had a tongue tie but had no trouble latching and gaining weight. The hardest part for me was feeling alone. At that time I wasn’t super comfortable nursing around other people so I would go into a quiet room by myself when we had company. That continued for a long time and I felt resentment (mostly towards my husband because he wasn’t ‘helping’). With my second (and third) son I learned some great outfit options that really helped me get over that.
My first experience with breastfeeding was very painful. I had mastitis in one breast then a couple weeks later had it in the other. I chose to continue breastfeeding through the pain, and it was soooo worth it! For the second baby it was super easy and no pain.
With my first, I made the mistake of not getting help and being in excruciating pain for weeks on end. I was stubborn and pushed through even though his shallow latch made me cry during feedings. Every time I was about to make an appointment with an IBCLC, we’d have a good nursing session that would give me hope things were improving, only for it to continue to be painful again. Because he was gaining weight so rapidly, I didn’t make it a priority to seek out help. Eventually it got better after maybe 8 weeks, but those first months were rough. With my second, I promised myself I’d get help sooner instead of being a martyr. My daughter is now two weeks old and I’m having the same situation I did with my first except only on one side. Her latch is comfortable on the left but not on the right so I’ve seen a lactation consultant and I’m taking steps to figure it out so that I can enjoy the remainder of my maternity leave!
I too struggled when my twins were born. We made it 2 weeks before I (with many tears) threw in the towel. I didn’t have the information I needed to succeed. When my 3rd was born I was determined to make it work. Through much pain and many tears We succeeded! I remember telling my hubby I just want to make it a year! Well, here we are, he Turns 2 in a couple weeks and We are still at it ????. I’m a stay at home mom and he’s with me 98% of the time. He STILL wakes as much as a newborn, I am so tired and I know its going to take tough Love to break him but I’m too tired for tough love. This BFing thing is no joke.
My son would.not.nurse. We have no idea why. We had numerous doctors, nurses, LCs look at him. No one could figure it out. He grew more & more sleepy in the hospital & finally they suggested formula. I was not opposed as I didn’t want him to starve of course! We went home still trying to nurse & he wouldn’t do it. I pumped around the clock for about a month & could not increase my supply to keep up with him. I remember one of the nurses telling me that if he never breastfeeds to never feel guilty. At the time I didn’t understand her comment, but later I did. I felt like such a failure. I even had someone tell me that formula was the equivalent to feeding my kid McDonalds for every meal. I was devastated. What mother wants to hear that? What was my choice? A dead baby because he starved? Support each other no matter what. You don’t know what is behind why someone has made the choice they have.
So thankful for your honesty! My son Is 6 weeks old and we are just now getting into a good place with breastfeeding. I am a mom baby nurse and literally spend most of job helping people breastfeed, but it has been such a struggle for me. My son had a tongue tie that we got clipped day 1 in the hospital, but it ended up being incomplete. We got it clipped again at 2 weeks of life and it still didn’t make a huge difference. I had cracked bleeding nipples and horrible pain with latching up until 5 weeks. I got mastitis and thrush along the way. Now that my son is 6 weeks and has a bigger mouth we are finally in a place where I have little to no pain! It has been such a hard journey and I’m so thankful he is healthy and hasn’t gained 3 pounds since birth.
Absolutely love this post! I completely agree. Breastfeeding was really difficult for me with my first. I had to use a shield the first few months which only made it harder. She would nurse for an hour or more at a time so I felt very isolated and trapped. Eventually things improved and I was able to nurse her for 15 months but it took several months. I was constantly feeling like I was failing, especially with her petite size making me constantly question my supply. Now with my second, it’s sooo much better! Partially because he is just a better eater and because I knew it would be difficult so I was more mentally and emotionally prepared for struggles. We definitely still had several weeks of immense pain and had to work at it, but now at 8 weeks he is nursing like a champ! I wish I had more women spreading info like this with my first. It really would have encouraged me to hear I wasn’t the only one struggling with breastfeeding.
I love how you say “fed is best”. Which is do true. I did not breast feed my 2 boys (now 13 and 19) simply because i did not want too. They went straight to a formula bottle and i was perfectly fine with that. You always hear breast is best, and i think that puts a lot of pressure on some new moms to do so. I think its great for moms to breast feed, as is formula feed. The only thing that is important…is that the baby gets fed! You rock girlie…i love watching you on your stories…you just keep it real!!
Yes it hurts, to the point of tears sometimes! This is true early on- no matter how the baby is latched. You and your baby are just learning the ropes and no matter how hard you try to open baby’s mouth wide enough to shove your nipple far enough in its mouth, the second baby clamps down and starts suckling is enough to bring tears to my eyes as I write this. After a few weeks and desensitizing it is a much smoother transition and aslong as baby is latched properly it shouldn’t hurt as bad.
Being a FTM I wasn’t sure what to expect w breastfeeding, to make it more difficult no one in my family had done it, making it unknown territory. I bought a book and read up on it and was lucky to work in the labor and delivery unit every 3 weeks. I felt pretty confident upon giving birth but was thrown off when my new baby was a direct admit from the pediatrician bc he was jaundice after being home 12 hours. Watching them give my 3 day old an iv if fluids and being told he was jaundice mostly due to breastfeeding and my milk being delayed. I felt like a huge failure and between being 3 days pp and healing myself, my husband not being able to stay w us in the pedi ward and seeing my little guy being pricked and prodded I was unsure where this breastfeeding journey would go. Luckily I saw a great Lactation consultant in the hospital who really gave me back my confidence in BF. Now here we are almost 6 wks pp and have not had to supplement. Since his hospitalization I have pumped and nurseed and we just got cleared by the pedi for no more weight checks due to his growth. This has given me such a huge proud mama moment.
My daughter latched an fed immediately after she was born but nursing was SO painful for the first four weeks! I ended up developing mastitis the same day I went in for my 6 week postpartum check up. It came on really fast and I had flu like symptoms which was horrible with a newborn but I actually self diagnosed and the dr was able to call in antibiotics for me! The worst experience I had with breastfeeding was when my daughter was about 3-4 months old. My supply took a dip and she started to refuse nursing. She would only nurse in the early morning hours when I was full but would refuse any other time of day. I was a panicked first time Mom who was afraid of starving my baby and having to pump all throughout the day. I took her to the pediatrician to make sure she didn’t have any issues and when they were stumped, we got the Lactation consultant at the hospital to see us. She aid she’d never seen this before but thought I might not be producing enough and gave me a product that basically hooked up to a bottle and supplemented your pumped milk while the baby nursed to trick them into thinking your supply had increased. After feeling like that was completely unhelpful, I learned through a quick google that my baby was on a nursing strike and everything the consultant had told me was wrong or didn’t apply to me. I’ve been weary of constants ever since. We got through that and I ended up nursing exclusively for 14 months. We had times of difficulty but I definitely don’t regret doing it! Now I know not to be so hard on myself if it just isn’t working out!
Lauren this post is amazing! My sweet little girl is 8 months old. I had really amazing lactation specialists at the hospital and feel like this made a world of difference. I also attended (with my husband! Lol) a breast feeding class before the baby came. Still, after all of this prep, you don’t know until you’ve tried! I had terrible nipple pain but as you mentioned it did go away after a few weeks and I just kept using lanolin and those cooley pads. My biggest issue still to this day if my supply. I have struggled to keep up with my supply while working and pumping for my babe. I just try to take deep breaths, eat lactation cookies, and drink tons of water and vent to friends who are also working/pumping mamas who get the stress of trying to produce enough for your little ones while you aren’t with them. I also think the schedule of having to feed your baby every 2-4 or whenever hours you are ALWAYS attached to that little creature no matter what you are doing. We need more “real” posts like this about how HARD it is and most importantly how FED is BEST:) Thanks for being so transparent!
xoxo
I hear so many people say that breastfeeding is “the most natural thing in the world” which really makes you question yourself when you struggle with it! I agree that mamas need to support mamas and the judgment and shaming needs to stop. My first baby was born 4 months ago and I ended up having severe nipple damage in the hospital due to an improper latch. The nurses all said the latch was correct so I pushed through the pain only to finally ask to pump bc I knew something was wrong. That’s when we discovered how much damage was done. I was devastated when they said I would have to formula feed until my nipples healed. Luckily the body is amazing and I healed in four days. We still couldn’t get a good latch though so I exclusively pumped for 8 weeks. Every one said “just keep trying” but I ended up in tears after each unsuccessful attempt bc I felt like a failure. I was about to give up trying and just resign myself to pumping bc of the emotional toll when one day 8 weeks in, he just got it! He suddenly just figured it out. I’m so grateful I kept trying and that there were blogs out there encouraging me to keep trying. I know not everyone is so lucky, I only share this bc if there’s one mama out there that may be in the verge of giving up, just know that if you decide to keep trying, there is still hope! And to all moms: if you care enough that you’re reading about caring for your little, you’re already doing a great job!
I’d like to thank you for being real about breastfeeding and helping moms feel like they’re not alone. With my first baby almost 4 years ago, I also didn’t receive the lactation support I needed in the hospital. I also had a bad experience with a pediatrician who told me I must not have enough milk and when my son was two weeks old. I started exclusively pumping for 9 months. I feel the negative response from the first pediatrician led to PPD. We also switched to another pediatrician who has been great and supportive. I wish I trusted my gut and kept going with breastfeeding as I knew deep down everything was ok. Fast forward and I’m currently having success with my 8 week old daughter. I had great lactation support in the hospital as well as at home with my husband and friends. I learned it’s ok to ask for help and that my daughter and I have to learn together when it comes to breastfeeding. My piece of advice for moms is always trust your gut and fed is best. I’m grateful that you posted your experience, which has finally made me open up about mine!
When I was pregnant with my first son I had decided that I was going to breastfeed him for an entire year…my mind was made up and that is just what I was going to do. Well I had a difficult delivery with Declan and actually ended up back in the hospital after having him with postpartum hypertension. I remember when we went into the doctor because my head was literally going to explode from the tension from the dangerously high blood pressure all I cared about was why my supply wasn’t coming in. I remember crying unbelievably because I felt like I was an awful mom for not being able to breastfeed my child. I tried literally everything to get my supply to come in, from teas, creams even putting the formula in a bottles with a tube that connected to my nipple to help stimulate my supply to come in. Finally after 8 weeks I said enough is enough…and I switched completely to formula (he was only getting an ounce each feeding anyways from me). I realized once I switched that I put way too much pressure on myself to conform to what everyone says you need to do. And realized I need to do what is right for me and my baby…and for us formula was just fine. It’s hard and I feel like whether you try or not is really no ones business and you need to do what’s right for you!
Yes. Breast-feeding is hard. I just had my first daughter a 9 weeks ago. And chalkenges keep happening. She will latch, but always poorly. I’ve seen multiple lactation consultant‘s, and other specialist. She was a few weeks early, and had some health issues. That may have contributed. Right now I have become mostly an exclusive pumper. I always try to breast-feed once or twice a day in hopes that she will get better. But at this point, I am OK with exclusively pumping. I don’t know how long that will last. But it’s what is best for me and my baby at this point.
Thank you for bringing attention to this. I didn’t realize how hard breast-feeding actually is!!
I guess I’m lucky, my daughter latched well right away and I’ve kept working with her to widen her latch. She doesn’t always lay her tongue over her lower gums, but I stopped worrying about that since it doesn’t cause me any discomfort and her pediatrician isn’t worried about it, either.
Her reflux makes things difficult, especially when she arches her back while nursing and PULLS. It’s uncomfortable, but not necessarily painful. And it makes nursing in public awkward. She can also take a while to nurse, which was frustrating at first. She’d never stay awake long enough to nurse on both sides, no matter what I did. It made engorgement really miserable. I had a fever and flu-like symptoms, but missed the mastitis luckily. I remember crying over the oversupply issues more than anything and I’d probably pump sooner if I do this again!
The hardest thing about breastfeeding for me was the very scary stories other women would tell me. Bleeding nipples, crying when nursing, dreading pumping, excruciating pain. Oh I was terrified.
I didn’t receive any help in the hospital, either. In fact, on the board in my room a lactation consultant left a note that we’d met and discussed nursing…ya, that didn’t happen. And when I called a nurse for help, she never showed.
I breastfed and bottle-fed both of my kids from day one. I was that mom who sent her kids to the nursery that first night so I could sleep. My daughter pounded the bottles they gave her, but my son slept 6 hour stretches from that first night, so no bottles for him. I BF exclusively during the day with both which was fine until we got home from the hospital and each kid “woke up” and were starving and I still had no milk. I have PCOS and my milk didn’t come in until 6 full days post-partum!!! So even my son had bottles (and formula) from Day 3. Neither kid every had a problem switching between bottle and boob – they just were happy to eat! I will say that I never had a ton of milk with either (despite ALL the supplements), so both had formula and breastmilk daily. I would always pump immediately before bed and my husband did the first middle of the night feed with that so I could sleep. HEAVEN!!! I am convinced that all husbands should give their baby a bottle daily for bonding and so that Mom can sleep/shower/leave the house. My nursing journey stopped at 6m with my daughter and 8m with my son…I wanted my body back at that point. For all new moms – FED is BEST. BFing is hard, whether you have latch issues, production issues or whatever issues. You don’t HAVE to breastfeed and if it doesn’t work don’t stress. Seriously. You and your baby deserve a happy mom – so do what works for you and your body.
I was in the same boat with the weird positions that the lactation consultant tried to make me use 1 week after my first baby was born and I had limited supply which we figured out with the weighted feedings at the visit. I was definitely not prepared with her even after the class the hospital offers and the quick visit after birth. I only lasted about 7 weeks and I think colic had something to do with me stopping because I felt defeated and like I wasn’t good doing something right since she was inconsolable for hours each day.
With my second…it’s a complete 180….I followed Facebook groups and read different ideas/positrons/tricks to help prepare. I didn’t get to use the lactation consultant in the hospital because they would always come after she ate and was asleep ????. I spent many hours binge watching and napping as we figured out breastfeeding in the recliner for the first couple weeks. I was able to send my oldest to daycare, then I would come home and do a couple chores as she napped and then from 11:30-pick up time for sister, we would sit on the couch and nurse/nap. I would also pump after feedings to help my supply and get a small stash for when I returned to work. Proud to say we are almost 9 months into breastfeeding and a small freezer stash that I may get to donate to help other babies and their mommies while catching onto this breastfeeding adventure.
It’s not easy, it does hurt, and there are many other things you should be tending to as well but I feel those first couple weeks are the most important!
So, I breastfed, but I hated it! Let me preface this by letting you know I was unemployed, we had a lot of expenses and I felt OBLIGATED (not by my husband) to breastfeed. My child was 10.5# at birth. He ate A LOT! I ended up having to go on a med that I couldn’t breastfeed while I was on it like 2 days after being released from the hospital. So we had to substitute with formula. After that week of formula, we realized it kept him fuller, and decided to continue with that just during the night, so everyone could sleep better, and he had my milk all day. My nipples hurt like hell, and I ended up pumping for the most part bc he was so large I wanted to make sure he was getting enough, and I didn’t like feeling like a human pacifier. I love that I was able to give my son the health benefits of breast milk early on, BUT it is a HUGE commitment, and it’s not for everyone! It is a full time job breastfeeding! I don’t know how working moms are able to do it. I breastfed for 7.5 months and was relieved when it was over! I finally felt myself again. I tell all new moms, if you try and hate it, don’t get down on yourself, it’s ok!
I love all this! So much truth! I breastfed with my son who is now 2 1/2 for 17 months working full time. I was never able to get him to latch due to my nipples being so flat so I started out in the hospital using a nipple shield. 17 months later, we still used that nipple shield! It was the only way we could nurse and it worked for us. Every lactationcinsultant I talked to said there was no way I was going to be able to continue to nurse using a shield for more than a month or two. 17 months later and a deep freezer full of 1200+oz of milk, we prooved hem wrong! After having my daughter I told myself I was going to try nursing without the nipple shield. After the first week I was ready to throw in the towel on nursing all together because I was so extremely sore and blistered. We started using the nipple shield and she is 9 weeks today and we are still using it. I’ve learned with breast feeding that everyone is doferent and to do what is best for you! And your baby! Thank you for posting this post! It really hit home for me!
As You can see I did not proof read this before posting!
Ok, Fed is best I agree. My water broke March 9th 2017. I spend little over a week in the hospital before having to give birth via emergency caecsection on March 19. My baby spend 1 month in NICU. I was not able to hold my baby until day 3. The nurses were super helpful with trying to help my milk supply even though I was not with my baby. My milk came in on day 3. But I was not allowed to breast feed because they didn’t want him confused. He was being tube feed. I was told to pumps. Ok, I can do that. I got home, I was getting up every 2-3 hours pumping and then taking the milk to the hospital early that morning. I did that for 1 month. Please keep in mind that I have another kid to take care of also. My milk supply depleted due to stress, tiredness and not having my baby close. I ended up pumping exclusivity for about 6 months while giving him formula to make up what was not coming from my breast. That’s my story. I stop pumping when I went back to work.
Thank you for sharing this! I’m due in June and am often surprised by how many people have asked me if I plan on breast feeding… my answer is always the same… I hope to! I appreciate your honesty in the challenges and hope that knowing those things will help make it easier but in the end fed is definitely best! Thanks again for you tips! So glad I’ve found your blog/instagram
My breastfeeding experiences are very similar to yours with pumping with my first and my second latching on with minimal issues. I’ll save all the painful details of my first but there were lots of consultants, contraptions and guilt (internal and external) and in the end pumping worked. I went back to work at 3 months and she went on formula. With my second, I was scared to even try breastfeeding and a very gentle and sweet nurse convinced me to give it a go in the hospital and it worked. I went back to work at 3 months and still was able to feed him mornings and evenings for his first year. It was great. The thing I most want to share is that with my first my husband and I were so nervous. It affected everything we did from struggling with breastfeeding to clipping her finger nails. And with our second we just weren’t nervous any more. We had survived. And so have both of my kids. My daughter is 12 and my son is 10 and they are both very healthy and happy kids.
Though I’m in a different stage of motherhood then you, I want to say how great it is that you are so open about your experiences and have given mom’s the opportunity to hear and share their stories. Keep up the good work!
I was was one of the fortunate moms in that my first born latched immediately. He was full term but was a tiny little guy. My milk came in before we even left the hospital (2days). He was always nursing, so much so, my period didn’t return until I stopped at 14 months to try for another. We had had a miscarriage prior to having him and it had taken us two years to get pregnant before that. We had our second almost two years after our first and her story was completely different. It took her an hour to even try to find my nipple. When she did she didn’t have a great latch. I tried different holds but we as a pair struggled. I felt like I wasn’t producing as much as I had with my son, probably because she didn’t eat as much, but at the time it was a stressor to me. I was worried she wasn’t getting enough. I also ended up with mastitis with her and we both got thrush when she was about a month old. My son didn’t have issues breastfeeding but what I didn’t know or push enough to really figure out was why about half an hour to an hour after eating did he wake up screaming, what sounded like in pain. The only thing that seem to calm him was nursing. I talked to his pediatrician at the time about a milk allergy but basically after giving the symptoms of explosive poop and spitting up was kind of told doesn’t seem like it since he isn’t vomitting. Well four years later he does have a sensitivity to milk and it all makes sense. Why I bring this up is because it’s hard as a new momma to trust you know what’s best. Even as a second time momma I second guess myself, something I’m working on. Also even though we had a great latch and smooth start I had sore and cracked nipples that first month, with both. I wish I had known about those silver doodads you showed. I just squeezed breast milk out on my finger and rubbed it around the nipple and let it dry, one of my lactation consultants had told me to try that. I also put a dollop of lanisine on a breast pad and put that in my bras a couple times. It always seem to clear the cracking up by the next day. I hope this helps someone. Breafeeding or not breastfeeding shouldn’t be judged as long as baby is fed and healthy. It’s challenging enough to get through the first few months. I’m new to following you but find it refreshing that you are providing a place to help these discussions get out.
I planned on breastfeeding my first and honestly didn’t think I’d have any issues with it. After giving birth, my son ended up losing over 10% of his weight, which led to the nurses feeding him formula from a little cup and me feeling like a failure from the getgo. I spent the next 6 weeks trying to make breastfeeding work while also pumping and supplementing. I visited the hospitals lactation consultants every couple of days for weigh ins and had more than one meltdown over my son not gaining weight, my bleeding nipples, and my lack of milk supply. The consultants tried so many things and I started out so hopeful, only to go for weigh ins and discover he had transferred hardly anything. I even had my sons very slight tongue tie cut in the hopes that it would help his latch, which was a traumatizing ordeal in and of itself. For my own sanity, I stopped trying to nurse when he was about 2 months old, and still pumped until he was 5 months even though I usually could only pump a max of 4 oz per time so I still had to supplement with formula. Looking back, I definitely experienced some PPD and, even though I knew that fed is best, I still felt like a failure and honestly I still struggle with those feelings. I’m legit terrified to have another baby and try to breastfeed again, only to fail. But it truly does help when I read other mama’s experiences and know I’m not alone!
I’m a first time mom with a 2 week old daughter. I’m exclusively breastfeeding. I loved your post! I was lucky to have my milk come in right away, I’m producing more than enough milk, and she’s a good eater. However, it’s still hard! My nipples hurt so bad. I’m emotional. My boobs are always out and I feel like I’m always feeding. Thank you for this truth! It’s so encouraging.
I love this post! Thank you for sharing. FTM with a baby girl who is a month old yesterday. My aunt and her best friend are lactation consultants so my BF support is incredible, but that doesn’t mean has been any easier to grasp. Charlotte had a tongue tie that needed to be laserd at just a week old, which theoretically will help to improve her latch – for some overnight – for us not so much. Tongue tie can cause long term problems though so regardless, it needed to be done. This obviously caused a big interruption in our BF learning process and made the curve pretty significant. We were a week behind and finger feeding her using a syringe and feeding tube (of pumped milk) to supplement after our feedings together. My nipples were scabbed and blistered; I even had to get medicated nipple cream from my OB and exclusively “finger feed” her for about a week to allow them to heal back up. Today things are better, but far from perfect. It’s inportant to keep perspective and realize how far we’ve come on the rough days. For every time I feed her I also have to pump to keep my supply up (because for whatever reason she’s not stimulating them enough to create an adequate supply, but this has changed even in the last day – fingers crossed) which makes for loooong nights; my nipples get sore about every other day because she slips in her latch pretty often so I’m constantly breaking and relatching (thank god for nipple shields); A few times a day I have to give her a bottle of pumped milk because she still seems to have issues transferring enough – this made me feel like a failure for a second. It’s so hard, and even with my fantastic support system this is a battle she and I have to win together. We are determined though and with continued perseverance I know that it will continue to get better.
First, thank you for these words. I had my first baby on February 8 this year and for the last 4 weeks we have been trying to breastfeed. When I was in the hospital I had a couple great nurses who helped me work on the latch with my daughter, Noa, but it was still increxibly painful. I had to have a c-section because she was Frank breech and couldn’t really move for the first couple days, which severely limited my ability to use different positions comfortably, and because her latch was so shallow my nipples were torn up, bruised and cracked. So they gave me a nipple shield to use while my breasts healed a little. That helped massively and I was incredibly thankful. However, a week later when I tried to breast feed without the shield, it was more painful than before and I had no clue why that would be. I thought I was doing something wrong, and when a nurse came to my house to help me with breastfeeding while I also was helping her with a study for her dissertation. She tried and tried but we were still in a ton of pain and my daughter would get so frustrated and refused to eat. It was a week after this (we continued using the shield) that I found out that my daughter had oral thrush and I had thrush in my breasts. The pain was unreal and now, after a 10 day treatment for my daughter and a treatment for me, we are almost ready to try again.
No one tells you the things to look for or questions to ask. I had no idea that it wasn’t supposed to hurt, that my breasts shouldn’t have shooting pain, or that my daughter shouldn’t cry during feedings. We were told it was acid reflux, that my diet should change, that it was gas, that I was doing it wrong…but it turns out that we both had thrush and it wasn’t our fault.
I wish there was less shame around breastfeeding and women who struggle with it. I have heard, more than I can count, “Fed is best” and while I wholeheartedly agree with that, I can honestly say that the divide between lactation consultants pushing for breastfed only and pediatricians pushing for supplementing at the first sign of a problem, I have found myself walking a line of shame no matter who I talk to. Fight for breastfeeding and you may be neglecting your child, think about supplementing and you’re giving up too soon.
Fed is best. Shame shouldn’t exist. And these conversations are so important, especially for first time moms like me, who are literally guessing from the first minute and just want to know that they aren’t alone.
SO with my first baby I was so overwhelmed being a new mom and dealing with hormones and adjusting to motherhood. I was nursing but my little one never seemed to be full. I remember our pediatrician suggested that if I wanted I could supplement with formula so I wouldn’t feel the pressure of having to produce. I took her up on it and felt a bit better. Then we both got thrush – ouch. We got through that and then I got mastitis – OOOUUCCHH! I remember waking up to pump and nurse around the clock to try to help. I was exhausted and one of my wonderful NPs and my OBs office finally said to me as I lay exhausted in bed office, you know it’s okay to stop nursing if that’s what you want. It’s okay. I decided to stop and guess what, everything was fine. All of that was within the first month! With my second, a few years later, I tried nursing again. Again I was adjusting, this time from one to two, and for me that was incredibly hard. I was so worried about producing enough that was preoccupying my mind. I also had a tongue tied baby whom I didn’t realize at the time was having trouble latching and staying latched due to the tongue tie, no one really informed me that could happen. He would latch and start then fall fast asleep and an hour later we would start all over. That was pretty much constant. I quickly stopped nursing with him because it was all too much. My third little one was born almost three years ago, my other two were 7 and 5. I decided to try nursing again which surprised most. I went in figuring I’d give it my best and see. I had the easiest time with him! He was also tongue tied, which we had clipped asap, he latched great, he ate well and it was a joy. It was almost comical how different it was – was it him? Was it me being more relaxed? Who knows! Who cares! I loved every sweaty minute of it! Haha! Unfortunately as I have Crohn’s disease I could feel myself falling into a flare in month 2. I tried a few things and realized it was going to take a change in medication to help which meant no more breast feeding. I tried pumping to keep my supply while I got through it in hopes of returning but after a bit I realized the stress nursing was taking on my body was doing my Crohns no favors and I threw in the towel. But those three months were wonderful. I remember crying knowing what was probably our last nursing session and stressed over how he would react to formula and a bottle. Well guess what, he didn’t care at all! Haha!! In fact he seemed happier than he had in two weeks as I’m sure my milk had started to suffer because of my health.
Wow that was one long rambling paragraph. But I feel so strongly about this topic and the one thing I always try to stress to new moms is the same – fed is best!! It doesn’t matter how you do it and what your reason. Whatever you chose we should all be supportive and respectful as we are all just doing our best for our little ones.
I’m currently 12.5 months into breastfeeding my first born, a little girl. We had a rough start with my milk taking a week to come in and I had to pump after every feeding and then use the SNS to supplement with the expressed milk. My nipples were beyond sore, I wa physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. I was also using a nipple shield to deal with a shallow latch mainly on the left side but she needed it on the right sometimes. I think we ditched the nipple shield around 6-7 weeks. She was extremely colicky so I cut dairy out of my diet to see if it helped. It did slightly so I didn’t eat dairy for about 5 months before slowly reintroducing it. After I got over those humps, it got much better. We had hiccups along the way with plugged ducts and recurring milk blisters but we have made it so far and it’s been such a great experience overall. So many things can go wrong in the beginning and it’s so hard because you’re already so drained. It doesn’t make you a bad mom to supplement with formula or exclusively feed formula. It can do a number on your mental health to continue breastfeeding when you’re having trouble with it. You have to make the best decision for you and your baby.
I have an 11 month old daughter that I exclusively breastfed for 4 months (with nipple shields by the way – I have one inverted nipple and nursing hurt sooooo bad… Even when lactation consultants told me my latch was great). We began supplementing with formula until 6 months to give me a break, and then one day my milk just dried up – turns out I was pregnant again and I apparently wasn’t eating enough to maintain a milk supply and a growing baby. I struggled with the idea of trying to get my milk supply back for my daughter because “breast milk is best” or so we are told. I tried power pumping, nursing more, but in the end, I gave up pumping 45 mins for 2 oz of breast milk. It just wasn’t worth it. That reason was a hard one to accept for me. I didn’t have any “serious” reason why I should stop. I didn’t have medical issues. Nursing had been going fine (fine but I just didn’t love it. I didn’t really feel like myself when I nursed… More bovine-like if I were to describe it!!). My baby was in the 90th percentile in everything. I’m obsessed with my daughter and NEVER struggled bonding with her. to add to my guilt, I was a stay-at-home mom who didn’t nurse… Like, this is ALL I do! Why didn’t I want to nurse always and forever?? I just didn’t love nursing and it wasn’t worth it to me anymore. Yes, it still feel like I “could have tried harder” and that was almost 6 months ago! I still occasionally feel jealous of Instagram moms swooning over their romantic nursing photos “18 months and still nursing strong”. And by all means, good for them! I’m just learning that my reason of “it just wasn’t worth it” is good enough too. I love my daughter (and my son that will be joining the family any day now!) and I’m a great mom!! I plan to try to nurse my son when he comes but I’m not setting goals and I’m not going to stress of it doesn’t work out. I love reading all these comments! If no one has told you that you’re doing a great job being a mother today, well, YOU’RE DOING A GREAT JOB BEING A MOM TODAY!!! Keep it up!!
I’m a first time mom and my plan was to breastfeed, but after time that didn’t work out. I knew my nipples would be sore but never thought they would be that bad. Day 1 in the hospital it hurt so bad, I thought it was because it was something new, which was partially the case, but it was also because my son had a bad latch. Then when we got home from the hospital and had a home health care nurse come out and we found out that my son lost a full pound so we were told we had to supplement to get his weight back up. We were lucky that he took a bottle right away and tolerated the formula. On top of a bad latch and having to supplement, I had a low milk supply, so I was told to breastfeed, then give him formula, then pump to try to get my supply up (this was very time consuming & frustrating). I tried for weeks to try to fix his latch, and to get my supply up, but I was in such pain and it didn’t seem to be getting better, I would dread having to feed him which made me feel like a horrible mom. So I finally decided to just pump and feed him that along with formula. Now, 7 weeks in, my milk supply is almost dried up and we are just feeding my son formula. He is gaining weight beautifully and with him taking a bottle, my husband gets to be involved in the feedings (and gives me a break at night). It was a tough decision because you hear from certain people who are all about breastfeeding and to them that is the only and right option which made me feel like I was doing something wrong and failing my son) but with the support of my husband I felt better. FED IS BEST is what he kept telling me and reassuring me that I was doing a great job. My son is happy as can be and so am I.
I planned on nursing with my first but I ended a Csection and she ended up in the NICU and my milk never came in. I tried pumping while in the hospital and was so stressed out it wasn’t working. At one point I got screamed at by a resident for not trying hard enough and she made the committed so I should too. I actually had to call the nurse to remove her from my room. After that my milk never really came in. With our second I pumped for a couple weeks and went to formula. They are both happy, healthy wild little kids.
First baby was a terrible experience. She was 6 weeks premature and tiny. I struggled through using a nipple shield for the first 4 months-and she was just a fussy and extremely particular babe. Continued to force it until she finally quit all together around 7 months. While I’m thankful I was able to feed her, I mostly look back and think I should have quit WAY sooner for the sake of my family (my poor husband) and more importantly for my own mental and emotional health! Once we switched to formula everyone was so much happier. My second was a dream compared to the first. Nursed perfectly until around 10 months and he quit after getting a stomach bug. While I still had a hard time letting go for fear that I was a “bad mom” it was just not that big of a deal once I chilled out.
Then my third was a nightmare at first- she had a tongue and lip tie that we had to have surgically corrected when she was 2 weeks old. We fought through the first two months and I ended up happily nursing her until 15 months and I finally cut her off- she would have nursed until college I’m sure. ????
Now I am due next month with #4 and I can truly say I do not have the energy or the desire to put myself or my family through fighting to nurse just for the social stigma (and honestly the personal one!) attached to using formula. I will certainly give it a fair shot, and I will gladly throw the towel in if it is too difficult or if my husband and I feel it is best for myself or our family to switch!
After 3 babies and 3 totally different experiences I can say that EVERY baby is different, every mom is different, every family is different, and we should always ask what is BEST for myself, my baby and my family when it comes to feeding our babies. Because sometimes that’s breastfeeding, and sometimes it’s not! And thank God for formula. How wonderful that we have something that nourishes our babies that we can purchase at the store and there’s no way to look at a child, or adult and tell if they were breast or formula fed. ❤️
With my first I was able to breastfeed with significant pain. I ended up bleeding almost everytime I fed her & pumped. Nobody took the time to help me get her latch correctly because they were too busy. Now with my second one she came 5 weeks early and my milk didn’t come in and her blood sugar was too low which then resulted in supplementing until my milk came in. I now exclusively pump because im paranoid of her not getting enough again. So I can relate to how it’s not easy. By the way, you probably mentioned this a million times on Instagram but what are those sweats/pants you’re wearing in this post? I love them! They look so comfy!
I have had 4 babies and have had mastitis 4 times. It was terrible! And then some of my babies were biters… ouch! But now after nursing 4 babies my nipples really don’t have any feeling left, lol. My youngest child is almost 1 and I will be weaning her then… and I can’t wait. Breastfeeding is a job and after 4 babies I am done. I know it’s suppose to be this bonding experience and for the most part it has been, but I’m ready to be done.
My baby has breastmilk jaundice meaning that his liver is not able to process my breastmilk and that’s inhibits his ability to process bilirubin. So, though he and I made breastfeeding wor no problem and I produce plenty of milk, I had to supplement with formula and even stop breastfeeding for a while until he matures. He is almost three weeks old and ended up in the NICU over this. The pediatrician says this could last down up to three months.
I had a really tough Breastfeeding journey with basically every issue you can imagine and 8 months on, I’m still going strong. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I feel strongly that it’s the right thing to do for my baby. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved. I don’t like the ‘fed is best’ slogan because I think it’s misleading; everyone knows breastmilk is best for babies. If you choose not to breastfeed, or can’t then formula is fine but it does come with increased risks like SIDS and stomach issues later in life. This isn’t about guilting people but making sure that they make informed decisions. It’s the same with early weaning or using crib bumpers or any of the thousands of decisions we make as mothers. Do your research and decide what’s best for you and your family. I’m so frustrated by the misinformation and lack of support which undermines people’s breastfeeding journeys.
When my son was born five years ago breastfeeding started as a struggle. He had a hard time latching and we finally got through that. Then my supply was hardly enough to keep up with him and we got over that. Then at about three months he started spitting up blood. He had a severe milk protein allergy and it would require me
To change my entire diet. At that time i was a single mom battling PPD and that was not something i felt i could add to my plate. The decision to stop breastfeeding did not come easy and i felt as if my
Body failed me and i failed him. This played into my PPD even more. I swore that the next time around i would do everything i could and i have. My
Daughter was born six weeks ago. I’m happily married and so far just have some minor post partum anxiety which is so different from the depression. I developed gallstones at 29 weeks with her making the end difficult and knew I’d have to have surgery shortly after having her. I ended up having to have a csection with her. She patched so good right away. We had no issues! It was awesome. So i found out i had to get my gallbladder out three weeks later!! So i started pumping. I was determined to ha e a supply for her for the day i went under. I got enough for a days worth. I had my surgery and let me tell you, gallbladder surgery three weeks after a csection is no walk in the park. Needless to say the next couple days i was in too much pain to want to nurse
Or even pump. I opted to pump only. I noticed a dip in supply so i started doing lactation cookies and taking fennel and basil oil in a capsule three times a day as well as applying the oil to my breast. I drank Gatorade and water and took fenugreek. I did it all!! I then got mastitis three times. I still refused to give up so i went and rented a hospital grade pump. After four days of that and only getting three ounces total i decided my body was not going to produce what i needed for her and called it quits. Again, not an easy choice and it hurt me mentally but i know i did all i could and she’s happy and healthy.
Thank you for saying fed is best. I desperately tried to talk to the nurses and the lactation consultants at the hospital about the what if’s. I just wanted to have all the information, just in case.Flat out refusal to discuss anything other than breast feeding. I got told over and over “you’ll be fine” and “anyone can do it”. I ended up going home with a daughter who had r had a wet diaper in 12 hours, both of us in tears. Long story shorty, my milk never came in. Thank goodness for a supportive pediatrician who talked me down in the middle of the night and released me from the guilt of not being able to breastfeed her. The judgement I get when I’m out and make her a bottle is unbelievable and so hurtful, but we can only do what is within our control.
I breastfed my first daughter for 4 weeks and threw in the towel because I was in so much pain. I literally had holes in my nipples and it hurt so badly when she latched. Every nurse and pediatrician I talked to told me to slather my nipples in Lanolin, which I did because I had no clue what I was doing. Turns out, cracked, sore nipples need AIR to heal!!! If I’d had good information, I really think I would have been able to exclusively breastfeed my daughter. My second and third daughters have been exclusively breastfed, mainly because I learned how to help my nipples heal. No Lanolin necessary.
Thank you for sharing Lauren and thank you to everyone else. It is terrible to read about al the struggles everyone has gone through, but also shows me how fierce all you mamas are to do what is best for you and your little! I just had my first a little over 2 weeks ago.My daughter struggled to latch right away and I had bleeding, sore nipples in the hospital the first day. When the LC at the hospital came the next day and I told her how much pain I was in she told me my latch looked fine and it shouldn’t hurt. My daughter also struggled with some jaundice and when the on-call pediatrician came the next morning, she sweetly asked how breastfeeding was going. When I said, “painful” she immediately opened my daughter’s mouth and said she had a tongue tie but the doctor that could cut it didn’t work again until the next day. I had AMAZING nurses who did everything the could think of to help me in my pain and the hospital LC was less than helpful. By the time i got home and my milk came in it was a Friday. At this point the pain was toe curling but I kept on. I couldn’t call the LC that I was referred to until Monday. When she heard how emotional and how much pain i was in, she got me in immediately. She immediately was concerned about mastitis and started me on some prescription cream. She also found a lip tie as well, which no one thought to look for in the hospital. I ended up exclusively pumping for a few days to let my nipples heal. I hated pumping all the time, it felt like such a bigger process than just whipping my boob out! After a day of pumping, I missed breastfeeding even though it was so painful! My husband would feed expressed milk while I pumped and watched.I hate it but it did help tremendously in healing my nipples. We got the lip tie addressed (an the tongue tie again because the pediatrician in the hospital didn’t do a great job) and things have been better. I am currently struggling with a plugged milk duct that I can’t seem to release no matter what I do! I am still breastfeeding and have hopes it will continue to get better. The pain is no longer toe curling so that is a win! A good, supportive LC makes all the difference. I can say without a doubt I would have given up that Monday when I called if she hadn’t rushed me in, I was in that much pain!
All 3 of my children had tongue and lip ties that had to be revised and therefore made all of my experiences pretty rough in the beginning. My 1st daughter unfortunately we were never able to get past that struggle and I eventually had to quit pumping at 3 months because my supply diminished from using the nipple shield that was given to me in the hospital. It took a long time for me to accept giving her formula and it created a lot of stress between my husband and myself and my mother in law and sister-in-law because they couldn’t understand my struggles. I started to Actually resent her because of how terrible of a time I was having with it all instead of being able to just bond with my brand new baby… Once we decided to just give her formula it was the biggest relief I have ever felt in my entire life and I wish I made that decision a lot sooner. My next two children were both revised by a couple weeks old and eventually the engorgement and latch improved and I was able to go on to breastfeed successfully for a year and I’m currently going on 5 months with my 3rd baby. I definitely had the misconception when I was pregnant for the 1st time thinking that breastfeeding is natural and I would have no problems at all it was very naive of me. There should definitely be a lot more education about what could go wrong even though lactation consultants claim none of those things should happen they frequently do.. Otherwise all of these products wouldn’t exist that are there to help with engorment and nipple bleeding and soreness. It’s real and it happens.
My daughter is 2 and I am 37 weeks pregnant with a little boy. I chose to breast feed her but didn’t have a lot of luck. It did hurt but only when she would first latch. My nipples did scab but I was determined. The more time went on I realized I wasn’t producing very much milk. I tried increasing my pumping to see if more nipple stimulation would help increase milk supply. I could never pump more than 1 day ahead. 4 weeks post partum rolled around and I was MISERABLE! Literally on the verge of post partum depression, I decided to stop breastfeeding all together and cold turkey. Everyone says breastfeeding is such a good bonding experience. I can say with pride that my baby girl and I bonded so much more when I stopped breastfeeding. I was happier and felt like myself again. I felt like I was the mom I was supposed to be and meant to be. At 37 weeks pregnant I plan on breast feeding this baby boy but I am not making any promises. Like you say fed is best!
I had such a difficult time nursing my daughter right from the beginning. No matter how much she nursed or how much I bumped, my left breast always felt full. It just wasn’t draining properly. Two weeks after her birth, I came down with a terrible case of mastitis, which lasted a week. I tried warm compresses, massages, nursing around the clock on my left breast but the pain wouldn’t subside and I couldn’t get it to drain fully. Eventually, I ended up at a breast surgeon who had to surgically drain my left breast. Turns out my milk ducts are circular and not linear making it nearly impossible for my daughter to drain it fully. Even after this, I continued to try to nurse only to get another case of mastitis and I needed to have my breast surgically drained for a second time. At this point, my breast surgeon told me I should consider formula and let my milk dry up, which I did because I couldn’t handle feeling sick all the time and needing to see a doctor to be drained. The amount of guilt I felt for switching to formula was so overwhelming. I truly felt like a failure and had one mother tell me I wasn’t trying hard enough. It was really a difficult time for me and I feel like I didn’t enjoy this time with my daughter as much as I should have because I was so consumed by this guilt. Fast forward almost two years later, my daughter is amazing and I realize giving her formula did not harm her in anyway. I am due with baby number 2 in the summer and I think I may go right to formula this time. If I’ve learned anything from my experience is that fed IS best and babies need a mommy who is present and healthy more than anything else! Good luck to all my fellow mamas out to there! No matter how you feed your baby, you’re doing an amazing job and your baby thinks the world of you!
As I watch your stories on Instagram I just get brought back to all those emotions you talk about. I tell all my friends who was to breastfeed to try and give it at least 6 weeks but no matter what fed is best and don’t feel bad. Breastfeeding is hard!! I was lucky and always had enough milk but at the same time it was hard because I got mastitis within the first week and a half of having my daughter. My milk came in so fast and it was so painful. On top of trying to get baby to latch on my enormous nipple and boob I would be leaking horribly on the one she wasn’t nursing on. No one warned me about how emotional it would be after having a baby or night sweats. Those first few weeks are so hard but I am so glad I did it. It got so much easier for me after about 6 weeks and I nursed my daughter for a year.
Hey Lauren!
This is so wonderful for new moms to read! I wish I had something like this to read when I had my son (almost 10 years ago)!
When he was born, he never latched correctly, and I kept getting told that a lactation specialist would be in to help me. On our last day in the hospital they reassured me that the lady would come by that day, well an hour before we left, my husband asked where she was, and the nurse informed us that she had just left for the day! So there I was with my brand new baby, and we had to figure it out together. I cried just about every time he latched for 3 months! My mom kept reassuring me that it would be fine to supplement with formula (I couldn’t pump – I got about 2 ounces in 45 min!), but my son’s pediatrician told me that if I could deal with it, I should keep breastfeeding…so I did. Don’t ask me how, or what I did differently, but the day he turned 3 months old, breastfeeding stopped being painful. I continued to breastfeed him until he was almost a year old when he decided for himself that he was done! lol! Knowing what I know now, if I had had another baby, and it was as painful, I would have supplemented. I would have rather been staring down at my beautiful baby sucking on a bottle, than clenching my teeth and crying for those first 3 months every time I fed him. Fast forward to his first dentist appointment at 2.5 years old, and the dentist asked me if he had problems latching! Turns out his frenulum (that strip of skin that connect your lips to your gums) was low which made it difficult for him to raise his upper lip, and latch correctly.
Thanks so much for opening up this discussion Lauren! It is so important for moms to read. I think there’s a lot of guilt and a lot of judgement related to this topic. So I love how you say “Fed is best!’ I could not agree more!!! I really hope this helps all the new moms out there!! <3
Love this! Thank you for being so vocal about “fed is best”. I made the choice not to nurse mainly due to the fact my job is not conducive to nursing/pumping. It’s so encouraging to know that there are people out there that aren’t judging me for it!
My son is 8 now and oh how I wish someone was around when I was in the hospital to help. It took me a while but I finally did find a Lactaion Doctor and she was amazing and help me figure all of it out. However I will always believe fed is best. I was an older mom 38 and I have to say if I was younger and didn’t have a resource like you Lauren I would have felt so lost. I’m very much out of the baby phase but Love following your journey.
I just had my first baby November if last year. I, like you, received no breastfeeding help/support or lactation consultation since she was born on the weekend….And apparently whoever was there on Monday doesn’t make rounds on the weekend babies? …speed forward 11 weeks and my nephew is born and my sister tells me about the lactation help she received and support group she went to and was taught things I had to find out the hard way or by searching late at night online. And yes it HURT! Nursing hurt me for different reasons… we developed thrush… And I’m fairly certain we had it for weeks before the doctor finally listened and looked at her mouth and asked me questions that I tried to talk about at our 1 week appointment, but was brushed off and said it was normal…. But regardless, I’m proud to say my daughter is 4 months old and we exclusively breastfeed still! We figured each other out. And I think going in to breastfeeding with very low expectations that it would all work out really helped my stress level with it all! I heard horror stories about women who wanted it so bad and how much they went through. I said I would never do that. I so agree with you! FED IS BEST! My sister actually just decided today to formula feed instead of nursing and I couldn’t be more proud of her! Thanks for being so open about your nursing experiences! I know those first few weeks are crazy and I hope someone going through that currently get a support through your post and our comments that they are not alone!
Also I supplemented with formula here and there in the beginning so I could get some SLEEP! I have no shame in that! I just pumped before and after I slept and it was GLORIOUS! So thankful my husband thought to ask about ways to help me get more sleep! I would have probably quit if it wasn’t for that and finally getting our thrush cleared up!
With my son he would not latch for anything. In the hospital I tried and tried and tried. I was in the hospital for 3 days because I had a c-section. The day lactation nurse was amazing but he just wasn’t latching. Than the night nurse would have me in tears at night telling me that I was doing everything wrong. I would spend the nights after she left asking my husband what was wrong with me that I couldn’t get my baby to latch. So I continued trying when home and ended up exclusively pumping which by a month later had killed my soul I felt trapped in the house either feeding and changing the babe or strapped to my pump. After a month of that I wound up in the hospital again due to my gallbladder. After I had to get a test done where I could breast feed for 24 hours (we put my son on formula mixed with breast milk to make it last longer) I actually felt a huge weight lifted off of me a felt like I could finally enjoy time with my son and husband and interact with people again. I talked to my husband and told him how I felt and he was like you have to stop than you have to be happy too. So after a month of breast feeding I decided to change to formula. At first I was upset cause I felt like I wasn’t doing what I was suppose to be as his mom. But after a while I thought hell I was formula fed and there is nothing wrong with that every women has to do what works best for her and her baby not for anyone else.
I love this post and agree with it all!! I wish I would of had this several months ago! Let me start by saying I thought my birth story and breastfeeding experience would be completely normal (now after hearing so many stories, I would say, does that even exist?!!!!) and easy! My first born is 11 months and she came 6 Weeks early and had to stay in the NICU for 2.5 Weeks. I started pumping within the first 24 hours and couldn’t even try to nurse my daughter for over a week because of oxygen. Luckily, my hospital had great lactation consultants and they were very helpful and encouraging but it got to a point that she just needed to learn to feed to come home (not by tube) and bottle was easier so she got that more but I would try and nurse a couple times a day. Due to her small size, she came home with doctor’s instructions to supplement with formula. Her love for that dang bottle was an uphill battle from the start but I continued to try. I struggled with low supply and breastfed and supplemented with a bottle for every feed for 6 months! I definitely didn’t expect the emotional attachment that I developed for breastfeeding and it took a solid 2 months of me “thinking I should probably just stop and make life easier” until my heart would let me. I really enjoyed hearing about how the second child was easier for some because I am VERY hopeful that will be my story one day too!!!
Although everyone’s breastfeeding experience is different, there are so many similarities! But what I have found is that literally no one in my real life talks about their breastfeeding experiences! Luckily I had some exposure from my older sister breastfeeding, but I mostly relied on the online youtube/blogger community. Breastfeeding is HARD. It is demanding and exhausting. I wasn’t prepared for the emotional rollercoaster it would take me on. We are 11 months into our breastfeeding journey, and i’m so thankful I stuck with it, but I literally wanted to quit every single day for the first 6 weeks. It did magically get better after the 6ish week mark though. The beginning is just a hard time (paired with sleep deprivation & adjusting to being a first time mom). My son actually has always been so good at nursing from the very beginning, but I just wasn’t prepared for how it would make me feel. It was hard on me. But, I felt so much guilt and shame if I would quit for my sake because he was doing so well. Of course, there have been other challenges along the way (oversupply, clogged ducts, biting). But, here I am now at the 11 month mark and the newest challenge is coming to terms with weaning. Again, something that I think my son will deal with perfectly fine as he is already showing less interest in nursing, but it’s going to take an emotional toll on me giving it up. It really is a rollercoaster.
https://www.youtube.com/jessicabrook
I ended up with oversupply and a strong letdown so my daughter was essentially choking every time I fed her. I cried right along with her as we worked on it over the first few months. Thankfully, a good friend only mine is an LC and spent a lot of time formulating a plan and helping me figure out how to successfully feed my baby.
Yes yes yes, so much truth to this! The best advice I received was from my best friend and she said to give it a month if you really want to do it….after that if you still hate it then move on. There were a lot of tears, more so me than my son???? but we are going on 16 months now (I am slowly weaning) and I’m so glad I stuck with it. I think the fact that I was able to take the full 12 weeks of maternity leave helped too. Had I gone back at 6 I don’t know that I would have been comfortable enough to continue while working full time!
With my first nothing came in! I was 21 – very young and didn’t have a clue what I was doing. I thought there was something wrong with me because I was a dry as a bone. Some called me “lucky” others, just confused.
With my second I chose to bottle feed. My whole pregnancy I had been doing research on breast feeding, and my husband was so supportive in my new interest. At the last moment when the nurse asked me what we would be doing, I chose bottle. I was scared and honestly didn’t feel I could do it.
I don’t “regret” how I fed my children, because as you said “fed is best!” However, I wish I had believed in myself enough to have tried and to have had the experience.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m a first time mom to a 10 month old and am currently breastfeeding. I also had an extremely rough start to breastfeeding and thought about giving up many times. The latch just never felt quite right and my little guy seemed to constantly be choking while eating. I had many tear-filled weeks because it just wasn’t coming to me as “naturally“ as I felt it should. I enlisted the help of a lactation consultant who came to my home (amen to this, sista!) and was a phenomenal help. A lot of people don’t realize that many insurance companies provide visits with a lactation consultant as part of their plan. I was very lucky that my insurance company provided 5 free visits. I ended up seeing them 3 times at the beginning just to get support! During one of our visits the consultant also mentioned that she thought my little guy might have a slight tongue tie that was preventing the latch from being formed correctly. A few weeks later I took him to the pediatric dentist and performed a frenectomy procedure to release the tongue tie. Within a matter of days, things got drastically better, and have been amazing ever since. I’m still feeding him at ten months with plans to stop at a year, but now I’m re-thinking that decision. Breastfeeding him has been one of the best experiences I’ve ever had and I never want to stop. Thanks for sharing your story, Laura, and for supporting and encouraging all of us mommies!
I agreee, fed is best! Both of my girls we’re were great breast feeders but unfortunately I nevertheless produced enough milk to sustain them so I ended up supplementing (at 5 days for my first and two weeks for my second). IN the aspect it became very hard and very frustrating. Since I’m a working Mom toward some the end would get an ounce a day pumping I threw in the towel at 6 months with my first. My second is 6 week… fingers crossed.
I definitely agree with the truths you listed. It’s not easy, it hurts like hell, and no one tells you these things beforehand! The hour after I had my son, a nurse suggested I try to nurse him which I was happy to try. But when we couldn’t get him latched right away she immediately jumped to a nipple shield to help him latch. That definitely did the trick but little did I know how much of a mistake it was to use that shield. It took us 7 weeks to wean from the shield (which is such a pain in the butt to use every time) and in those 7 weeks it was severely damaging my nipples to the point of them bleeding. It was not obvious that the shield was what was doing the damage and I’m not saying I wouldn’t have been hurting without the shield, but it definitely made it way worse. It took a solid 3 months for my nipples to heal and for me to realize that we could keep going and would keep going with Breastfeeding. Every feeding I was sure I was going to quit. I was ready to quit. It hurt so freaking bad. The worst pain of my entire life. I was seeing a lactation consultant every few days, and they were really my saving grace in Breastfeeding. I couldn’t have done it without them. I’m so happy I didn’t quit though. I went on to have an amazing nursing relationship with my son and I nursed him for 15 months.
If you’re a new mama reading this and you’re sure you can’t go on anymore because it’s so frustrating and so painful and so exhausting – just know that you’re not alone, and it *will* get better. But also know that you are in no way a failure if you decide to move on from Breastfeeding and feed your babe a different way. As stated already – *fed* is best.
Lots of love to all you mamas who have been through this!
Yea to all of this! A lactation consultant in the hospital told me, “if it’s hurting you’re doing it wrong.” UMMM. It hurts. It took a couple of weeks to get past the part of it being reeeally uncomfortable. I also didn’t know about nipple shields, which are such a lifesaver!! It’s now packed in my hospital bag for baby #2. It allowed me to work on latching and slowly wean him off to just me.
Something that helped me was switching back and worth from natural coconut oil to the organic nipple cream. None of these will harm baby if a little gets on them.
A tip: don’t be afraid to involve your husband in learning about how to breastfeed. We went to the class at the hospital, and dude…he retained WAY more information than me. He was able to step up when I was confused or be able to remind me about tips we learned from the class. Also remember they are not nearly on the emotional rollercoaster as we are so it helps to have a sane minded person walking you through. Put a little faith in your hubby—they love to feel needed and love fixing problems. Ha. The other stuff like diapers and routines? Moms usually are way better! (Also my baby’s pediatrician ended up being super helpful in getting him to latch. They are more knowledgeable than we may think.)
One more thing- my baby could do a feeding in 7-10 minutes. He was done and happy. So many sites and other advice will make it sound like it should be at least 20 mins- maybe even 45 or an hour. Your baby will tell you when they don’t want any more. The only thing that would have made me question such a quick feeding time would have been if he was screaming or unhappy afterward. He grew up to be big and chunky!
When I had my son he latched within an hour of birth. I was so excited, we nailed it! Later a lactation nurse came to see me and noticed my nipples were bruised and red. They immediately began pushing a nipple shield. After that we struggled, the shield wouldn’t stay on, or I would put it on wrong (especially when I was sleeped deprived). I was so discouraged and after 2 months of trying I eventually started exclusively pumping. I later found out that if I had another child to decline the use of a nipple shield!
I had a successful breastfeeding experience with my daughter for the first 3 months of her life. When I returned to work and had to pump 3 times per day I struggled and quickly had to introduce formula. I was disappointed but knew fed was best. I continued to pump 3x per day while at work for 20-30mins per session. My body did not respond to the pump and my supply continued to decrease but we still nursed at home. She is now 7 months and I’ve finally decided to stop pumping at work. We nurse at night and I’m trying to stop all together but she is comforted by nursing and my breasts are engorged by the night time so it works for us for now.
Breastfeeding is an incredible journey. Incredibly beautiful, incredibly rewarding but also incredibly difficult at times. My journey has led me to where I am now, blessed to be going strong with my (almost!) one year old son. I’ve had my share of hiccups. In the beginning, it was finding a good latch. After that, came the cluster feeding. There were weeks I remember being in the same spot on the couch from 2pm to 8pm with what seemed like a baby who was just never satisfied. I got clogged ducts, milk blebs, and even mastitis. 4 times. The last time landed me in the hospital. I developed sepsis from the infection and became very ill, and could have lost my life (if not for the quick thinking of my mother). But, I recovered. My supply was drastically reduced. I supplemented with formula for a few weeks time, but eventually was able to continue breastfeeding. Through this, as you can imagine, came the backlash of my choosing to continue to nurse him. Family, friends, even my husband. They were all once so supportive, and though I know their backlash came from a place of love, it’s hard to continue doing something your loved ones disapprove of. What I learned is that ultimately, if you are determined to nurse but find these difficulties along the way, please know you are not alone in your struggles and your journey. There will always be another woman somewhere going through it with you. Reach out for help from friends, family, your community (local La Leche groups) and a big help for me was my lactation consultant. Best of luck to all you mamas.
Hey Lauren just had a few questions about your breastfeeding experience; how many days did it take for your milk to come in, did you do anything to speed the process along, did you supplement with anything in the meantime? Thanks for sharing!
Hi! My milk came in on day 2-3! I did not do anything to supplement in the meantime or speed up the process!
So grateful for all of your helpful posts! Breastfeeding was something I thought was going to be a magical time with my baby… but after a traumatizing birth experience, including but not limited to, acute pancreatitis attack in the middle of active labour… I couldn’t bare the pain of having baby anywhere near my body. I couldn’t stand up, lift my arms, roll over… having nurses push me into trying to breastfeed while hopped up on soooo many medications and virtually comatose, I grew to actually hate the thought and even started to resent the little angel! After forced into the very uncomfortable situation of trying to hold baby off of my body, learn to latch while he’s screaming bloody murder, and having stranger after stranger try and assist… I went home and threw in the towel! Trying to nurse with people hovering and everyone giving me different opinions, everyone saying that the last tips I got were WRONG was confusing and frustrating! My milk didn’t come in after a month of trying… so I gave up breastfeeding so that I could actually ENJOY my time with baby. Now I wish I stuck it out, but honestly my body needed to heal from my many underlying health issues and I just couldn’t take care of baby if I was constantly attached to a pump and misserable… I needed to be healthy and happy to make sure baby was happy and healthy! So I turned to formula. I will be rereading this post when I try and breastfeed with the next baby!
Luckily for me I never struggled with latch with either of my daughters. I will say that I had no support from the women in my family and I found that to be very frustrating and emotional as a pregnant first time mom. They would just tell me not to even try it because it didn’t work for them…which made me even more determined to prove them wrong!
My biggest struggle the first time around was battling mastitis because she never fully emptied my supply. The girl ate like a bird and still does!
My struggle with my second was trying to keep up with my little eater! She was taking 5-6 oz every feeding at 8 weeks old and it didn’t seem that I could ever get enough of a supply build up while back at work. I did have to supplement with formula earlier than I than I wanted to but fed is best!!
I only breastfed for 9 months with both. My body just stopped producing at that point even though I tried everything to get my supply up.
And yes your nipples will be tender the first week or so while they get used to being sucked on 24-7!
I had two very different experiences. My daughter(first child) breastfed very well. Immediate latching, hardly any pain, and fed for over a year. My son was a completely different ballgame. He was born, immediately started breastfeeding and it was a horribly emotional and physically painful experience. Not even a week after coming home, I was in tears because the feedings were not going well and I started to experience horrible pain. Not to mention my son cried ALL THE TIME. I noticed that I was having severe pain under my left armpit and into my breast, which was rock hard. I ended back up in the hospital for severe mastitis. Because of the treatment, my son ended up with thrush so we had to treat that as well with Gentian Violet, so everything was purple. By the time we had all of that cleared up, it was determined that I had post-pardum depression and my son was allergic to my milk. Talk about being kicked while I was down. After all of that and a good ole case of colic, we had finally managed to find what fed my child best and he and I were able to finally bond and have better experiences. Plus, the family could all feed him as well. Sometimes it goes great and sometimes it’s hard. But as long as the baby is being fed is what is important. Healthy is important. I had felt ashamed and had beat myself up thinking I had failed when all along I had done everything in my power to make sure my son had a full belly and all of the nutrients he needed which meant I had NOT FAILED AT ALL. That’s what I would love moms to realize. Breastfeeding mothers are incredible and bottle feeding moms are incredible! It’s all in the name of love for your child. ❤️
Both of my boys were naturals at breastfeeding. Unfortunately, I have insufficient glandular tissue and could only ever pump .5 ounces to 1 ounce on each side. That didn’t stop me though! My boys loved pacifying on the boob so I gave it to them whenever they wanted and pumped what I could. I saved enough until I had enough for a bottle. The pain of not having enough milk was so unbearable for me, I want to talk to it as much as possible because I know it is more common these days and if you are a mom that has it or thinks she might have it just know you aren’t alone and you are enough. Nobody ever grows up and says “man my mom couldn’t breastfeed me I’ll never forgive her”. Just remember that.
With my first, it started out as so painful and confusing! It’s such a new and odd territory after being thrown into being newly a parent in general. I bled, chapped, crusted, and bled more. I bought bottles of lanolin, circle heating and cooling gel pads and disposable/non disposable pads. Probably for what was most of 4 months honestly. I just thought that was how it was supposed to be? Mostly because no one tells you differently? After that four month span, I realized it came much more fluidly and easier. Probably because the crazy cluster feeds were over, but mostly because I got the hang of a schedule, baby got more used to it, and the pain subsided. But in those first four months, I can’t lie and say it wasn’t one of the absolute hardest things (minute by minute) that I’ve ever done. ITS SO WORTH IT. I went on to feed my first for 18 months and my second daughter is going on 23 months now. Having people like Lauren who publicly tell you how it is without sugarcoating (because that’s what we need as moms— so much honesty!) and good friends is KEY!!
AND I didn’t know how much I was supposed to be producing or how to save up with the pump. In the first six months, I would feed her, go to pump right after, then an hour or two later go to feed again, pump to save, and repeat. It was a chore! Which breastfeeding is. And for how special it is for you and the babe, it can be lonely! YOU are who that child’s happiness, survival, sleeping, comfort, etc relies on. No one else- just you. And that can be a lot of pressure. If you keep the end goal in mind, it should help get through the hard ships.
Thank you Lauren for writing this very important post! With my daughter, it was a struggle. I was in constant pain because we just couldn’t get her to latch properly. I shrugged to keep her awake for her to get her full feed in. I expressed and fed her with a syringe. My husband came with me to the lactation consultants where they taught him how to help me (yes – he had to learn how to help me express and get her to latch properly). With all of this going on I just wasn’t bonding with her so when at 4 weeks they told me that she still wasn’t putting on enough weight, I decided that enough was enough. We switched to formula and everything just felt right with the world. I was no longer in pain, dreading the next feeding. My daughter was gaining weight nicely and was quite content. She is now 9 and is a happy healthy child, because she was fed. When my son came long 6 and a half years after she was born I was under no illusions. I bought bottles and formula – I had a back up plan (something I didn’t have with my daughter). When he latched first time and started drinking like a champ, I couldn’t believe it! Yes, it still hurt like hell and yes, I still used lactation consultants with him and yes, I got mastitis at 2 weeks in… but through it all he fed. I fully believe that the struggles I had with my daughter prepared me – I knew what to expect and was so much calmer because I knew that at the end of the day it didn’t matter how I fed him, as long as he was fed. I eventually weaned him at 2 years 11 months. He is now a happy healthy 3 year old, because he was fed!
My breastfeeding experience was just that an experience. I started out not having a clue what I was doing — it looked so easy but wasn’t. My nurse who wasn’t even a specialist in location consultant stuff was the best! She was down to earth and spent quite a bit of time helping me with latch. After I went home from the hospital things went ok until Oliver was almost 2 weeks old and I got mastius really bad. I didn’t know what was going on – it came on so quick. And wow was that pain! I was red and swollen and just hurting so much. I enddd up going on antibiotics for a bit and my baby had to be formula fed. PAUSE. Fed is best. That’s the best thing someone said to me. I felt like the worst mom ever when I had to go on antibiotics and couldn’t feed my baby. But I wasn’t. Hormones and life just got me. But he did great. I was able to keep pumping to keep my supply going and after I recovered I went back to nursing/pumping. And was able to nurse him for 4.5 months until I got pregnant with our second. But encouragement for you moms out there if you have questions or concerns ask someone. If you have something similar to me and have to go on antibiotics the end of the world has not come – you’re still a great mom! You need to take care of yourself so you can care for your baby too. Oh and there are natural treatments but if you’re like me and let it go too far or you simply don’t know what going on like I did – it’s ok to seek out help and medical advice. They’re there to help you. Hugs to all you moms out there. We truly do have the best job and what a blessing — tough days and nights but so many blessings! ❤️
I breastfed both my kids for 12 months each. The second time around with my daughter was much easier than my first time with my son… that prob goes along with I was a little more experienced the second time around, I knew what to expect, and I think my daughter had a much better latch.
Both times I struggled with mastitis which was the worst. So painful and you feel like you have the flu with body aches and a fever. My milk would come in like crazy and I would have so much that these little babies wouldn’t drain the milk completely at each feeding and it would always lead to mastitis until everything leveled out. The heating pad and hot showers were my best friends along with nursing thru the pain.
Breastfeeding gets much easier once you and your baby get the hang of it. It’s a wonderful bonding experience and I am so happy I was able to do it successfully with both babies.
I love all the points Lauren made here , I’m on my second breastfeeding journey I nursed my first for 2.5 years and all 2.5 years was with a nipple shield, the shield became my bff with out the shield we would not have been successful it was also a curse because of god forbid my shield stash was forgotten at home or misplaced I was 100% screwed currently nursing my 4 mo he’s been a great nurser from birth but it hurt like hell for over a month I did attend several breastfeeding classes starting 1 week out if the Hospital with a c section I was determined not to use a shield again and he didn’t need one I just wanted to make sure I was extra successful this time , I’ve battled thrush and mastits this time around but we’re going strong I also say don’t quit on a tough day and what ever you decide fed is best take it day by day
I love this! I wish someone would have told me these things when my daughter was a newborn. My story is long so I’m not going to bore anyone with it, but I wanted to say to all mothers that it is okay. It will be okay. Do not let anyone guilt you for any decisions you make for your children, especially feeding your child. You’re feeding your child! It would be bad if you weren’t! But you’re doing it! Good job! There is not a one size fits all parenting guide. If there were, it would sell better than the bible. Everyone has an opinion but everyone’s opinions may not work for your child. Trust your gut, and if something isn’t working, educate yourself as best you can on your options and then do what YOU think is right. Lauren, from someone who could have used a voice like you when my kid was a newborn, THANK YOU. Signed – the mom of a 9-year old, breastfed 7 weeks then bottle-fed, straight A student whose favorite song is by Eminem. *shrugs*
I LOVED breast feeding but it was work. Mayme latched right away and while sore I never have issues with chapped or cracked nipples (thank you earth Mama nipple butter!!) I fed on demand for a month and nearly quit because girl was always. On. Me. After week 5 I started sleep training her and getting her on a schedule (babywise for the win!) and life was grand until she started biting at 5 months. It literally brought me to my knees!! I dealt with biting until I weaned her at 9.5 months. I had hoped to nurse for a year but girlfriend is independent and Mama was tired of the bite. I will say a girlfriend gifted me a can of formula before I delivered and essentially gave me permission to feed my baby in those early days when nursing can be trying and I always felt SO relieved those first few nights knowing I had a back up ready to go if at 3 am she wouldn’t latch and wa hungry. I never needed it but knowing it was there took the stress about panicking over how to feed a hangry baby to ease. Thank you for asking for our stories!!
With my first I was 19, working full time, and going to college full time. I had to start pumping when he was about a week old because I had to go to school. I was overly stressed and was facing some anxiety/PPD. When I returned to work I had a boss that was constantly harassing me about having to pump often. I was so stressed out that my body was not making quality milk, it was turning green. I went to my doctors and got no answers so I stopped by 3 months. Later I learned I had an infection hence the green milk.
With my second it came so natural and I had so much extra milk, I would feed him and then still be able to pump after each feeding. When he was 4 months old my older son started having crazy behavioral issues and my supply took a dive due to stress. By the time he was 10 months old we found out my older son had an extremely rare form of epilepsy, so life got stressful. I spent a week in the hospital with my older son and pumping just wasn’t working, I was so stressed I would only produce an ounce or two every few hours. Baby #3 is due any day now(March 6th was her due date) and I hope it comes as easy as it was with my second.
My baby (our first) was born unexpectedly at 35 weeks with immature lungs. He was of course immediately taken to the NICU so we did not have the skin to skin contact that is so important. Luckily our hospital and nurses were amazing and immediately stressed the importance of pumping every 2-3 hours using a hospital grade pump. I did this, setting my cell phone alarm, for the 16 days he stayed in the NICU. I was lucky that my milk supply came in. That said, this milk was fed to little man via tube (and eventually bottle) because it took him quite awhile to figure out eating and breathing. I had one AMAZING nurse who, one morning, noticed him rooting and waited until I got there to have him eat, with the lactation ladies on hand. This was critical and we got him to latch. From there, we didn’t have much trouble with latch but my dominant nipple was horribly painful for awhile (and so was my let down! Ugh). He has gained weight consistently but I have had a lot of anxiety about my supply because it hasn’t been as fast as some of his non-preemie buddies. That said, I religiously drink a lot of water and milk enhancing tea, take a supplement and make a batch of lactation granola bars weekly. I also have to ensure I’m getting the extra needed calories or my blood pressure gets low. Anyway this is a long-winded way of saying: definitely not easy but I do enjoy it. Also — I have formula on-hand at all times in the event that I can’t produce enough. I bought the honest company, but I used to buy baby products for a major grocery chain and can say with confidence that any of them — similac, enfamil, plum, gerber, etc. — are great.
Love that you wrote this! I have breastfed 5
Babies now and you are right, it’s different
Every time. Our oldest is 19 now and she was
The hardest because she was my first. Had some
Clogged milk ducts and a case of mastitis. Over
Fed her a bit until i learned how fast my let
Downs were and how fast my milk flow was.
In those days it was still the hiding to feed , like
Actually in a public restroom , in a stall ewe!
Learned new tricks each kid and fast forward to
The last one who is 7 now. I was finally a “pro”
And my nipples cracked and bled before she was
Even born. I had hoped to nurse her longer and
My milk supply decided to not be as productive
As necessary. So my moral is , it doesn’t matter
How many kids you nurse or how pro you think
You are, it’s always different ! I learned the most
From awesome lactation consultants and asking
A ton of questions and don’t forget to ask for
MAGIC NIPPLE CREAM!!!!!
Fist off you are so amazing for sharing your journey. With most bloggers they seem to be able to breastfeeding without issues, second nature. So thank you! I have 3 daughters all with very different journeys. First, now 6, is my surviving twin born at 26 weeks. Obviously she could not breastfeed right away. We tried relentlessly while in NICU when she hit 38 weeks, just didn’t happen. I pumped exclusively for her for 9 months. Then my second, now 2, she had zero interest. After a week of trying all we could, also ended up pumping exclusively for her. My third, now 11 months, was my breastfeeding queen! Nothing made her (or I) happier. We just weened her about a month ago. Each child was so different but I am 100% good with that. I did what each of my babies needed from me and that’s really all that matters, right?
I tried it. I did it for a couple weeks with my son, then pumped for a couple more. I didn’t like it at all. I had a hard time with my husband thinking they were sex toys and then using them as non sex toys, lol. So ladies, how do you do it? Do you just not let your hubbies touch them while breastfeeding? I can’t be the only one that felt like this…or maybe I am, Lol, oh well, we all have our things! Anyway, I have three kids. The first was breast fed for a couple months, the second and third were strictly formula bottle fed. My first had constant ear infections and was sick, but was in day care. My second and third were rarely sick, but they both stayed home. They are all healthy and made it through with the bottle..my first is 26, second is 21 and third is 12. If you can breastfeed, obviously that is a great choice. But ladies, if you can’t, or you struggle, it will be alright. It’s most important that you teach your kids to be good human beings with GOOD manners so that they contribute to society in a positive way. Breast feeding is just one little step in a long long line of things to come, so cut yourself some slack if it’s not for you either. Good luck!
Nobody told me how hard it would be!! I don’t know if it’s like some secret society where moms want all other new moms to learn the hard way or what! I have never once heard anyone talk about the struggles of breastfeeding until I experienced it myself. After a C-section and not being able to even really sit up easily, it was even harder. Yes, breastfeeding was my choice, and I didn’t have to, but it was something I wanted to do so badly for a variety of reasons. I stuck it out for 6 grueling months while going back to work (I’m a teacher) in August just 1 month after he was born. I pumped in the morning; I pumped at work in my classroom; I raced home to pump at night. Staying up way to late to fit in one last session to have enough for while I was away was too stressful. Spilled some milk and cried here and there. But the fact that I was providing for my newborn made me feel accomplished, so I kept breastfeeding and pumping. He started to refuse the breast around the 6 month mark. Believe me, I kept trying because I had heard it was just a phase. Finally, I moved to pumping only, but it was getting to the point where I worked so hard all day to squeeze out only a few ounces. Around the middle of 8 months, I called it all quits and switched to formula. I remember feeling so guilty like I was a failure as a mom even though I knew it was OK!! I try not to judge people that decide not to breastfeed because every mom has her reason, but I do think it’s worth a shot. Some people don’t even try because they don’t even want to deal with it. I try and stifle my opinions that it seems selfish not to even want to try, but I realize every mother is allowed to raise her child in her own way. Breastfeeding was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I felt like a stronger woman for doing it. I just wish I hadn’t felt so alone during the process. I wish I had checked out Mom blogs long ago and reached out to others more, but the chaos of the newborn phase didn’t give me much time to prioritize my social media or any kind of social life. I didn’t have the energy. At least now I now with baby #2 (whenever that will be) I don’t have to put so much pressure on myself to breastfeed and just do what feels right for him or her. Lookin back, I would do it all again, but I won’t feel disappointed in myself if it doesn’t work out.
Mentally and emotionally I couldn’t handle breastfeeding. Made it one month with my first and two months with my second. Formula helped me so much. I needed my sanity.
As a mom who breastfed 6, currently breastfeeding #6 (3 weeks old) it’s hard even the 6th time around!!!! Every baby is different and yes, it takes time and patience and even pain! With my 3rd I never could get her to latch correctly. She made a clicking sound when nursing. I tried everything to get her latch right and it hurt! But by taking it a day at a time by 3 weeks the pain gradually decreased. She still had the same latch but my nipples adjusted to her latch and we breastfed til 10 months with her same clicky latch. Also the growth spurts and cluster feedings still are hard. I never know if my baby is getting enough or still hungry and feel like I’m not producing enough during their growth spurts. But again given enough time, it always works out and we get back into our rountine in a week or so. So mommas just give it time and yes, fed is best, so don’t feel bad if it doesn’t work out. Babies thrive on formula just like breastmilk!!
I was totally unprepared for how hard breastfeeding was going to be. I don’t know where the “it’s not suppose to hurt” bs came from. I’ve had three babies and it always starts off hurting. It gets better but the start of it is hard. I nursed my oldest for a few months and then felt like I wasn’t producing enough for him. My middle child went awesome and I nursed him until he was 14 months. My youngest had a lot of setbacks so I ended up switching her to formula at about 6 months or so. I felt bad – espically since I nursed my middle for so long but it was the best decision for my daughter and me. Two bouts of mastitis and an allergy free diet on my part Because she was severely allergic to something (eggs) I was eating. Really it was the two bouts of mastitis that did me in though. It’s the sickest I’ve ever been and trying to take care of two kids and an infant was awful. IF we had a surprise number four I’d like to give nursing a fair shot but hopefully I won’t give myself such grief if it’s not working.
Love this! My daughter was born October 2017 and just turned 4 months. Breastfeeding was difficult and EXTREMELY painful in the beginning. I had to use a nipple shield in the beginning because she had difficulty latching. Turns out she had tongue and lip tie so we got that corrected. I had a hard time transitioning off of the nipple shield but eventually did when she was about 2 months old. Things were smooth sailing up until a few weeks ago she had blood in her poop. Turns out she had a dairy intolerance! I’m also struggling right now because her weight gain has slowed down. Going to the pediatrician on Monday to see how shes doing. My goal was to breastfeed her as long as possible but I’m really struggling with the idea of possibly having to give her formula if her weight doesn’t catch up. But like you said fed is best and as long as she is healthy and happy that is the most important thing!!
Well, where do I even start? As a first mom, I must confess I was so worried about labor that I took breastfeeding for granted, I was convinced that it will come naturally and that it will be as easy and beautiful as shown in movies. But in my case reality was totally the opposite. I had a C-section and for whatever reason (hormones) I felt like such a failure, even though I had full support from my husband and family I felt like I was incapable of doing the one thing women are made to do. (Silly me, now I know I had already done it, I carried life within me!!) So, of course, I put all my hopes of being a good mother on breastfeeding and when that didn’t work either I was devastated.
It was really painful and my baby girl didn’t knew how to latch, and I didn’t knew how to teach her, I was literary on tears every time I fed her. My supply never really kick in and on our first doctor’s appointment, she had lost a significant amount of weight. So we had to introduce formula and simultaneously, when I found your account on Instagram and learn about this “exclusively pumping” thing, I decided to try it. Didn’t last as long as you, I barely made it three months, because honestly, the whole thing was becoming kind of an obsession for me, I was always worried I didn’t have enough milk.
I really wish someone would tell me what is written in this post! I will just add this tip: please wash your nipples after every feed, my doctor gave me this tip when I was literally bleeding 🙁 I struggled so much, but seeing what you did with Noel and now with Austin gives me hope, maybe I will also be able to breastfeed baby number 2 and lived that beautiful experience.
Thank you so much for your honest post which couldn’t have come at a better time! I just had my second baby on 2/20 and am currently in the painful latch stage where I’m just happy to get from one feeding to the next! I had many struggles with my first baby also (wean off the nipple shield, painful latch, oversupply, clogged ducts etc.) which I was eventually able to overcome with many visits with a Lactation consultant and my local breastfeeding support group. I know things will get better but the beginning is SO HARD! I hope I can be successful again but right now small goals like getting from one day to the next is what I’m focusing on now! Thanks again for sharing your experience!!
As a mom of 2 boys 12 years apart, my breastfeeding experiences were polar opposites. My first son exclusively breastfed until about 8 months and then a couple times a day until 18 months. My second son was born when I was 40 and wow was it a different experience. I never had any latching issues but this time I had a low supply due to my “old boobies” according to the nurse. I supplemented reluctantly but knew it was for the best. Wilder weaned himself from the breast at about 7 months. I must say bottle feeding is much easier on mom! I loathed my breast pump so was glad when I could get it off my nightstand! I like what you said, fed is best. Truth!
Breastfeeding my daughter was easy. The beginning was a little rough & super painful until around 3 weeks. I continued to nurse her until she weaned around 20.5 months, a few days after I found out I was pregnant with my son. I stopped pumping the week before. My ultimate goal was to nurse for 2 years or until she self weaned, whichever came first.
My son is a different story. Both of my kids were almost 3 weeks early. When my son was born, he mostly slept. He hardly ate in the hospital. The nurses kept trying to help me get him latched, but he just wasn’t having it. His day 2 feeding frenzy came day 4 or 5, but my milk was in day 3, so I started pumping early. Once he started latching, the latch was painful. I remember it feeling like razors were coming out of my nipples, the latch was very pinchy. I knew it was different than my daughter, but kept thinking that it would go away. I talked to his dr & she said it would take a bit to get used to it. He was gaining like crazy, so everything was good. We introduced a bottle before 3 weeks because my nipples were on fire. I ended up having to go back to work at 6 weeks & I was afraid of losing my supply, so I saw an IBCLC. It was there that she mentioned to me that my son had a very restrictive upper lip tie. So off we went for an evaluation. It turned out he had a posterior lip tie, very restrictive upper lip tie, and a high palate. We had the ties released & nursing has been great ever since. When I was talking to the dentist who did the release about how I was afraid I was doing it selfishly because he was gaining about 1 lb per week and didn’t seem to have any issues with nursing. I really didn’t want to put him through the procedure unnecessarily but nursing was sooooooo painful for me, I was dreading each session. She shared with me about a few of her patients who had been gaining like my son until about 2.5-3 months when they started to plateau & then at 4 months were given a failure to thrive diagnosis & brought in for tie evaluations. It turned out these patients had significant ties & after the release were back to gaining. That made me feel so much better about it & I have no regrets. My son is 4.5 months now & he had his releases at 7 weeks. My first goal is to nurse him to 1 year & my ultimate goal will be the same as it was with my daughter, 2 years or until he self weans whichever comes first. I will probably stop pumping at a year or at least drastically reduce. Pumping sucks & trying to fit it in to 4 times a day is hard.
My advice for new moms is to see an IBCLC. Breastfeeding does hurt in the beginning, you & baby are both learning. It doesn’t matter if it’s your 1st or 5th, there is still a learning curve. The pain should start getting better, and if it doesn’t, speak up. Also, don’t stress about it. If you can’t breastfeed or just plain don’t want to, as long as you’re feeding you’re baby, you are doing what is best.
Medela Hydrogel pads are a lifesaver for healing sore nipples. The first two weeks of breastfeeding felt like shards of glass cutting through my nipples. Now, four weeks into breastfeeding there is nearly no pain.
My daughter is six weeks old and exclusively breast feeding, though not without difficulty. She latched well from the start and the LC I saw in the hospital said everything looked good, but the nipple pain started day one and only increased for about two weeks. I’m talking toe-curling, tear-inducing pain. She would cluster feed all evening and after several hours of straight nursing I wouldn’t be able to take it anymore so at that point I’d offer a bottle of pumped milk, which filled her up and allowed us all to get some sleep. By three weeks i saw a lot of improvement and my nipples were mostly healed, so I agree with the advice to stick with it!! We have reached the point where nursing is a pleasure. Also, I am a NICU nurse so I have experience helping moms breastfeed and I know the basics- without this knowledge I don’t know what I would have done, even with my proffesional insights breastfeeding was still hard. So ask for help- of your nurses and make sure to see a lactation consultant, even if things seem to be going well. I encourage my pregnant friends to learn as much about breastfeeding as they can before delivering!!
I had visions of breastfeeding my baby in the grass on a hot sunny day and really being able to take in how much I loved my body and my baby.
*record scratch*
Turns out breastfeeding was terrible. It didn’t come easy. My milk barely came in. I was on herbs galore !! I was on medication, in and out of the doctors office in and out of the public health breastfeeding office… pumping and nursing, I had timers on my phone to remind me to take meds, drink water and nurse & pump…and for what?! For me to hate the sound of a cry for me to hate my husband?!
It was hard. I cry just thinking about how hard and uncomfortable I was, and even my baby was so slow to gain weight her first TWO months… I was so sad when people told me this was tr “most natural thing in the world” and my baby and I just couldn’t do it.. the day I switched to formula… the energy in our house switched.. we started to enjoy our baby enjoy our lives again.
I envy women who can nurse for months ❤️
I laughed out loud at the part where you talked about cursing out your husband for having worthless nipples…exactly what I have thought so many times.
I never thought breastfeeding would be easy and it was something I had somehow convinced myself I couldnt do. The BEST advice someone gave me was to throw out my “how long do I plan to breastfeed” timeline. I had in my head a year. After only 3 days home, a year seemed like TEN years to me since everyday was so hard, even though my daughter latched so well. It was so painful and had me in tears almost everyday. Everyone I had check me said I was doing everything right which was just as frustrating. Once I told myself, Okay Britt, get through this two weeks, and if you want to quit, then you can. Once I got to those two weeks, I said Ok I can do one more. And I kepy allowing myself to extend once I made it there. I am going on 5 months now and its SO much easier now but still not without it’s challenges now that I am back to work and pumping part of the day. I give every woman credit who breastfeeds and also to those who don’t. It HARD AS HELL and it is certainly not something you need to put extra pressure on yourself for. As if being a mom in general doesn’t come with enough pressure.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! As a new Mom to a 3 week old baby boy, I had such an awful first couple of weeks after his birth. As they were removing my epidural after his birth, the last 3.5 inches of it snapped off and broke in my back pretty close to my spine. (Just call me the one in million that crazy stuff happens to!) Fast forward 3 days after birth, and I’m having spinal surgery to remove it because *plot twist* the epidural caused nerve damage and I couldn’t use one of my legs at all. I had all these plans to EBF, and bam! Out the window they go. My milk came in the day of my surgery, so my supply was shot when I was unable to nurse/pump for the first couple of days after surgery. Now I’m still struggling to increase my supply. I’m currently pumping about half of what he needs and supplementing the rest. I had such a hard time coping with the surgery and not having things go the way I had envisioned that I felt myself getting the “blues”. Determined not to let circumstances I couldn’t control bring me down, I had to come to the realization that FED IS BEST. My boy is healthy and that’s all that matters. This isn’t preached enough to expecting moms! Every mom has a different story, and we can get so wrapped up in expectations that we forget that at times. Thank you Lauren!
Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I have ever done. I set a goal of 6 months for myself. I never wanted to overwhelm myself with the pressure that comes along with breastfeeding however I am a goal setter- list maker. Once its written down, I HAVE to do it. Its been 8 months, 8 strenuous months. For me the hardest thing was battling ‘breastfeeding aversion’. Around 1 month of BFing I was starting to really feel the sleepless nights. I worried 24/7 my LO was not getting enough and was not gaining as he should be. Why did it hurt? Did he have a good latch? Why is he hungry every 2 hours? Am I drinking enough? Did I eat well today? I felt like I couldnt leave the house. It tore me apart. It started to feel as though he was latched every second of the day and it was turning me against BFing. It was terrible to feel aggravated towards it. I would cry and cringe when it came time to feed. I got so down on myself for feeling so angry and disgusted by what is so natural for my baby and I. Honestly, I hated myself for feeling this way. Then my LO went for his 1 month well visit and had gained double his weight. That moment was pivotal for me. I cried while my baby laid on the scale. I did it! My baby was happy, healthy and GROWING. My hard worked proved itself right before my eyes. Not single day since then have I been so hard on myself. Its a huge relief.
When I was pregnant with my first I could not wait to breast feed! I was super excited to have that bonding moment with my son and just the whole experience! Well it didn’t all go to plan. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 30 weeks and had to have my one breast removed at 32 week and induced at 37 weeks. I was only able to breast feed from one breast and he didn’t latch well, plus my milk wasn’t really coming in! I only had a two week time span before I had to start Chemo Therapy and once I started I wouldn’t be able to breast feed anymore obviously! So I pumped as much as I could before I started treatment, but my poor one nipple lol We tried to do as much breast milk with formula as we could with each feeding. Even though I was upset about having to give him formula he turned out healthy and happy and that all I could ask for.
I’m about to be a first time Mom (due April 24th with my rainbow baby) and I’m so glad you talk about things you’re going through with a newborn, breastfeeding/pumping and the truth about how hard it all is! I’ve learned a lot from you and can’t thank you enough!
I’ve been EBF with my firstborn for almost 6 months. The first 6-8 weeks were painful, exhausting and never ending. My boy would eat about every 45 min for sometimes 30-40 min. It has slowly gotten better and better. I love being able to feed him from my body. He’s still not sleeping through the night and wakes up at least 3 times to nurse. It’s hard!!!! I’m so tired and I wish I would’ve introduced the bottle a little earlier. Hang in there mamas!
Thank you so much for writing this up! I definitely agree with you and I’d wish I knew what I know now. Hope your article will help those who are having this incredible experience for theor firs time.
I struggled a lot with my son. He wasn’t latching correctly and my nipples are inverted so I have to wear a shield. I wish I could say that like most of you I turned to pumping exclusively but the truth is I tried every combo of breastfeeding, pumping and formula that I could think and it was just so hard for me emotionally and physically. I find myself still struggling with guilt that I didn’t try hard enough but I found myself needing to be out of the house to combat my PPD and it was too difficult to breastfeed and/or pump in public! If anyone had the same struggles I would love to hear how you handled it.
Hi Lauren. I enjoyed your article !
I’ve only breastfed the one and was lucky in that we figured it out on our own because there was no support at the hospital for either. Well, a lactation consultant was supposed to come to me but never did.
Overall I can’t say that breastfeeding hurts BUT there are painful experiences associated with breastfeeding.
First that initial week when latch is normally a bit shallow as baby and mama learn how to work together.
Second the clogged ducts!!! Those were the worst and would show their ugly atleast once every two months. Man we’re they painful!
I currently nurse my almost 3 year old and it’s totally different now. Breasts don’t get enforced anymore. No pumping required.
The question now is how do you stop? 😝