Thank you to Born Shoes for sponsoring today’s post!
My husband and I celebrated nine years of marriage this year, and it’s crazy how it feels like it was just yesterday! I thought I would share some important values we hold that makes our marriage work with you today. We had several older, and more experienced couples really help guide us early on in our marriage and I truly feel that it why our marriage has been so great to this day. If you’re getting married or newly married, I hope these are helpful for you!
1 // Communication
When we were newly married, one of the biggest pieces of advice we received was to always communicate. And communicate WELL. Neither of us are mind readers, so it does no good to keep our feelings and emotions about things bottled up. There were definitely a few years we worked on this, but now my husband knows I will NOT hesitate to tell him what I’m thinking, good or bad, and likewise. Sometimes I need to check my attitude and tone in the sense that I tend to run hot (I’m Italian..any other Italian women relate? Hahaha. I’m a piece of work!). My husband is more of the cool, calmed, and collected one who doesn’t amplify his voice like his really loud wife 😉 But we communicate our feelings and express our needs, and this has REALLY helped our marriage over the years.
2 // Put each other first.
I might get some flack with this, but it was another piece of advice given to us and for good reason. When our kids are older and out of the house, all we have left is each other. If we don’t like each other, that’s not gonna go over well now is it? I realize this is hard when kiddos are little (especially that first year of life when you are baby’s lifeline!), but it really is so important to make time for each other. Take a break from housework and dinner clean up and ask about each other’s day. Check in on each other at work (a simple text makes all the difference). Schedule date nights if you can. And if you can’t, make time one night of the week for an at-home date night instead (this is something we need to be better at!). Little things like this truly make all the difference. It’s so easy for children to get in the way of your marriage, but your relationship is what came first. And your children need to see that nurtured!
We love getting “dressed up” (and I say it in quotes because it’s never REALLY dressed up…just a step above our usual sweats, haha!) and heading out for a delicious dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants. My husband is not as into fashion as I am, so I’m usually the one finding him some great pieces for his closet! These Born Shoes Nigel boots have been great for him because they can easily be dressed up as well as worn casually. He states they’re really comfortable, too! I’m wearing Born Shoes Cricket over the knee boots which are also comfortable! I like that I can wear them with jeans, or even dress them up with a dress if I needed to. Our date nights are mainly casual because that’s more our speed 😉
3 // Be open about money.
This is something that has really worked well for us in our 9 years of marriage. We took a course called Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University and it was SO helpful for us. I was fresh out of college when we got married, so having some guidance on finances made a huge difference. We have been on the same page about things ever since, and literally never argue about money (which is a HUGE cause of arguments in marriages!).
4 // Don’t bring up the past.
The past is the past for a reason. We never discuss things that occurred years ago because there’s simply no point. We settle things in the moment, and don’t bring them back up after that.
(He literally does not have the capability of being serious..ha!)
5 // Fight clean. And then quickly make up.
This one is huge. Fighting clean is something that I think is SO important in a marriage. Fights and arguments are bound to happen, but they need to be done in a respectful way. We never name call, EVER. We never speak poorly about our family. And we never speak poorly about each other to anyone else.
6 // Have older, wiser friends.
My husband and I have been blessed with some amazing couples in our lives, and I truly believe they are the reason our marriage values are the way they are. We have older couples who have been married significantly longer who have advised us on parts of our marriage in a Godly way – which sticks to our personal values. We also have special friends who we can vent to, and who will always have both of our backs and help us to see the other side of things. For instance, if I’m frustrated about something with my husband, I know I can speak to one of my dearest friends and let it ALL out if I need to. She loves my husband as a dear friend as well, so I know I’m going to her in confidence and with the knowledge that she will love him regardless of what I might say. She always leads me back to our marriage values and gives me the BEST marriage advice. It really is something special to have!
7 // Laugh together.
Laughter is TRULY the best medicine. Laughing is our absolutely favorite thing to do together. We will watch our favorite comedy shows and be just all around ridiculous with each other. It’s my favorite part of our marriage….I know no matter how bad of a day I had, he will always make me laugh 😉
If you’re looking for some high quality shoes for your or your guy’s wardrobe, I highly recommend checking out Born Shoes! They have a wide variety of options, and are made to withstand all walks of life 😉 I’m linking several options below for you!