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The truth is, I’m still a crazed lunatic. I feel like there aren’t enough hours in a day, and I’m ridden with mom guilt (although I’m accepting that it never goes away). I don’t feel 100% like myself yet, but I think instead of getting back to who I was I’m becoming someone new. Life shapes us as we grow, so I’m accepting that this is the season of our lives at it’s current state. And it’s beautiful and I love it, and even though I feel like my head is spinning in a million different directions, I like this new mom-ified version of myself. Sure, she could really use a manicure, but that’s in the works.
Here’s how I’m maintaining my sanity:
I just accept it. I accept that I’m not perfect. I accept that my house won’t be 100% clean all of the time. I accept that I may be a crappy friend and forget a phone call/text/birthday/etc, but I’m QUICK to apologize for it. I can’t tell you how many friends have sent me texts in the middle of my work day and I read them but get caught up in something and completely forget to respond. When I do respond, I immediately apologize and ask how they are doing/how things are/etc. to show that I DO care about them (because I really do!), its just that I occasionally lose my mind. 🙂
I hired someone to clean for me. I know this is $$$ and truthfully I can’t afford it as much as I would like, but even having her come once a month is helpful. I have no time to scrub my floors because my child has been boycotting his longer naps lately, so it was amazing to NOT have to worry about this. And honestly, I would be willing to work a couple hours on the weekend while my husband watches Landon just so I can pay for her to clean. We are good about wiping surfaces down with disinfectant wipes and vacuuming the tumbleweeds of dog hair that are infesting our home, but having someone do a deep clean was a huge help. For when I can’t afford this luxury, I created a chore chart (I know, but it works!) that I’ll be implementing soon, more as a reminder to both of us of things that need to get done. It’s also much more cost effective!!
I’m utilizing an online grocery service. Our local Stop & Shop here in CT offers Peapod, an online delivery service. I can shop online and have it delivered when I want for a minimal fee (seriously less than $5 if I choose a value day). They are really wonderful, the produce is great (no ugly/bruised/weird things growing), and it’s SO. FREAKING. EASY. They also have really great organic products, and while it’s not a Trader Joe’s (my fave), it works for now. It’s saving me at least an hour of my day that I can now devote to Landon/the husband/myself.
I’m doing at-home workouts. I’m trying out Barre 3 (more to come on this later) and taking advantage of Blogilates and yoga on YouTube. The Tone It Up girls also have some great workouts. It’s definitely not the same as CrossFit, but I seriously can’t find the time to catch a class at a reasonable hour. I’ve debated hitting up the 5am but that means I’m waking up at 4am to pump. The noon and 3:30pm are my faves because they’re practically empty but thats smack in the middle of my already random work day. And I just have no patience for the massive classes at 5:30 and 6:30pm. Maybe I’ll get over that soon, but right now I just can’t deal. So CrossFit is on hold for a bit until I can figure out how to make it work. That being said, the at-home workouts I listed above are great because I can do them in the privacy of my own home around my time. I can also go for a run around the block with my jogging stroller if I feel the need to, although it’s now getting a little chilly for that. I’m also trying to convince my husband to buy a treadmill off Craigslist, but that’s obviously going to cost us some cash.
Now, for things I’m still working on:
Finding some “me” time, and also finding “us” time for me and my husband. I have yet to have anyone other than the girls who babysit Landon while I’m working watch him for a date night out. I feel incredibly guilty about having him be with so many different people, but I know I need to work through that. Or maybe bribe my mom to babysit for me occasionally.
Meal planning.
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I’m not sure how helpful this was, but hopefully someone got something out of it! Do you have any tips of your own? I’d love to hear them…anything to make this transition a little easier! 🙂
Hiya!
Would love it if you shared your chore chart! Also, there are loads of workout videos on YouTube (including Tracy Anderson) that I use at home. It’s so nice to even get 10-15 minutes in here and there.
x
Hey Lauren!
Love your blog and your little boy is such a cutie! I found this food planning website that may be very helpful to you and your busy little family. Just wanted to share and hopefully it makes one task a little easier. http://www.thefresh20.com/how-it-works/
This isn’t exactly a tip ..but I hope that you and your husband get out on a date soon! Even if it’s just for coffee. I was paranoid about leaving our daughter but it was great to have an adult conversation with my husband and not be wiping spit up or poop for an hour! I also find that when I do cook it helps to make more than we intend to eat so the next night we can just heat leftovers.
And kudos to you for still pumping! I just weaned myself down.
Hi! I stumbled on your post through Pinterest… and while I’m not a Mom yet, my husband and I do have it on the horizon in the next couple of years. Your post was so refreshing and honest. And it sounded exactly like my worries, especially having a clean house. So, thank you for this and telling me it’s OK to hire a cleaning service. 🙂
– Ashley
I love reading this !!! It’s nice to know I’m not alone because I’m surrounded by women who get to stay home. I don’t know if this helps but, I also peapod, it gets delivered on Sunday & I make one crockpot meal & one oven meal, steam some veggies & pack it up for the week. This works because I can just heat dinner up during the week & I can spend as much time with my little boy Mason as possible when I get home from work 🙂 I need to get on top of exercising more & not feeling guilty for spending some time just me & my hubs !
I got a Roomba for Christmas and it is my best friend!! I turn it on when we leave the house and come home at the end of the day to a freshly vacuumed house. It is one of the few things that helps me keep my sanity!
I’m a working mom too and have a young 4 1/2 years old. I’m trying hard to balance parenting, work, wife, etc. It’s not easy. Thank you for sharing your own experience. By the way, I noticed that you are missing the cross-fit workouts, I suggest you try the workouts from Beachbody. I started to use some of their programs and they are as good as cross-fit. I usually wake up at 5:30 am and do one of my workouts (30 min or 27 min- depending on the program) and by 6:30, I am set to start the day.
thank you for this post. Im retuRning to work tomorrow after being home with my son for the past 12 weeks. I have spent a ton of time wondering how im going to get things done, so this has given me a few Pointers that hopefully i can use. Ive learned over the past few months that i canT do everything, and so asking for help is going to make life easier.
Love this. We are planning to add another little one to our tiny family, soon. I’ve just begun working again so it’s overwhelming to even think about. This is good food for thought, though. Thanks! xo!
It’s so overwhelming! But you can do it! And, you’re welcome! xo
I’m with ya. It’s like parenting in the bermuda triangle. http://parcelandfrock.blogspot.com/2015/01/parenting-bermuda-triangle
HAHAHAHA it’s so true!
This is so encouraging to me as I work away from home and really struggle with finding energy and time to play with my 3 1/2 year daughter. She is my pride and joy and I too struggle with guilt for not being able to be with her all the time…I loved how you brought out how this is the “new you” and not trying to get back to how things used to be! I need to start thinking like that more and accept where my husband and I are in life right now..embracing every precious moment right now and being in love with who I am as a working mom and being a wife!
Thank you so much for writing this!!! I am a full-time working mom (not by choice) and it so the most stressful thing. I feel like I am always behind on everything, and your blog is the first one i have stumbled on who states they are an actually working mom! (Full time blogger to me does not count) It might be hard work, but at least they are at home and can work to their own schedule. Not a 8-5 like myself. It is just appreciating and helpful to know I am not the only one out there! Thank you!
Lauren, this was such a breath of fresh air seeing someone go through the same thing I’m going through. I feel like all my other mom friends can stay at home and I’m left out and no one understands the struggle working moms go through and the mommy guilt that we put on ourselves. I struggle with meal planning as well. We live on grilled cheese, eggs & frozen pizza. The new pressure cooker xl has been a life saver too as I can put frozen anything in (I forget to pull it out of the freezer) and it’s done in 15 minutes! Thank you for sharing and for helping us not to feel alone!
I literally JUST bought a treadmill this weekend – it was negative below whatever degrees, I don’t trust the “childcare” at my gym for my 9 month old, and I simply can’t justify the drive and hassle of leaving the house for a quick workout. It’s been a lifesaver the past few days! Now to convince my hubby that we really do need a house cleaner…
Hi Lauren! I realize this post is nearing five years old, but I just found it on Pinterest today. I wanted to say how refreshing it is to hear someone actually say “you can’t do it all.” I’ve read so many bloggers who seem to say that keeping your house clean, your family fed and happy, your body fit, your friendships/relationships alive, and your workload reasonable is all just a matter of proper scheduling, willpower, drinking green juices every morning, etc. I feel like motherhood and life hit me so hard sometimes that I can only focus on feeding everyone and keeping everyone from crying. I can’t afford a house cleaner right now, but if I could, I would in a heartbeat. Thanks for being candid about how overwhelming early motherhood can be. These tips are super helpful and actionable. We all only get 24 hours in a day, and it seems like the best thing we can do is devote them to the most important things and delegate the rest if we can. Anyway, thanks for this! I feel a little less like I’m failing now.