Yesterday it was in the 90s. 90s! I usually love 90s, but I do not love 90s while I’m pregnant. It was freakin’ hot! After work, I came home and slipped into this gorgeous ombre maxi dress by Splendid. This is another one of those dresses that can be worn pregnant or not, so I love that I’ll have it for future summers. I’ve been loving this little knot trick lately, too, because it adds a little something to look at. And these Jack Rogers sandals were my recent purchase from the Amazon Prime sale! I’ve been eying them for a while now, so I was psyched when they went on sale!
I read an article recently about a mom who suffered a previous infant loss, and her response when people asked her if her new baby was her first baby. This has been hitting home a little bit for me lately. Pregnancy naturally invites people to ask questions…How many weeks? Do you know what you’re having? When are you due? Do you have a name picked out? Which leads me to…..“Is this your first?” I caught myself saying, “This is my fourth” the other day. Because it is. She is my fourth baby. But that usually invites other questions, which then require some explanation and often leads to an awkward conversation. So I’ve found myself just answering with, “This is my second.” And then I feel guilt, as if I’m not acknowledging my two lost babies. I suppose this is something many moms who’ve experienced pregnancy or infant loss go through.
Regardless of how I may respond given the situation, this will always be my fourth baby. And I truly cannot wait until she joins her brother with us here on Earth. But I also cannot wait until I get to meet my other two waiting for me in Heaven.