The Transition to Three Kids April 17, 2018
This post has been long awaited by many of you, and I’ve put off writing it until now because I wanted to be super transparent about the transition to three kids. But before I dive into that, I want to share with you a little about my transition from one to two.
Going from one child to two ROCKED MY WORLD. Just when I thought I had the mom thing down, Noelle entered the world and threw me for a loop. I remember being terrified when my husband went back to work for the first time because I had no idea how I was going to care for two kids except for the help of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood and a lot of snacks. Learning to balance two schedules (I was very regimented with Landon…not so much with Noelle) proved to be difficult and I felt like I had to learn everything all over again. I officially had “my hands full” and I don’t always work well under stress. For me, it was a very difficult transition. I had a new baby who DID NOT SLEEP (Noelle was the worst sleeper ever…literally did not sleep more than 5-10 minutes at a time, and it slowly killed me), and I felt so guilty about my toddler not getting the attention he did before. Of course, this all got better (it’s just a season after all), and I became a pro in no time.
Okay, now let’s get into the transition to three. And I’m going to be REALLY transparent with you here.
Guys. Three kids is a circus. A freakin’ CIRCUS. A circus I wouldn’t change for anything, but oh man. Our house is a hot mess all the freakin’ time. I’m thinking maybe it’s the age gap (they’re all 2-2.5 years apart), so I’ve got a 4 year old who never stops talking/always tattles/still hates sharing/is very emotional when things don’t go his way, a 2 year old who just loves instigating her older brother (YES, she’s that sister. She knows everything that upsets him and plays on it, and oh my word. She is a tough cookie. She’s gonna be FUN as a teenager, ha! But I assure you, they’re the best of friends as well), and a newborn who relies on me for his every need.
To say I’m pulled in 932847682910 directions at any given time is an understatement.
My husband and I often look at each other like “WHAAAAAAAT IS HAPPENING?” because we are officially outnumbered and the noise level in our household is equivalent to a sonic boom. Someone is either always fighting or always crying, and I feel like lately it’s a rare moment that everyone is happy all at once (now granted…lots of factors playing into that here. 1. New baby; 2. NEVER ENDING WINTER…it’s finally warming up, so I can get these kids outside THANK GOD; 3. Sibling rivalry). It’s pure chaos all of the time.
But, that being said. It’s BEAUTIFUL chaos. Yes, it’s loud. Yes, it can be frustrating. Yes, I get tired of breaking up fights over toys or the tantrum over what color snack cup we’re using today. But honestly, I think back to years go when I said I wanted a family with three children and it’s everything I’ve ever wanted and more.
I know this is just a season, and I know it’s a hard one. Raising kids is not easy. But I also know it’s a short one. I see the three of them and have an overwhelming feeling of happiness, even if they’ve driven me crazy all day and I feel like I need to put MYSELF in time out.
I’m still learning the balancing act that is three children. I can get very stressed very easily (hello, hormones), so I often feel like I’m failing when I’m sitting feeding the baby and the older two are fighting over a toy or something else that’s crucial in their little world. I’m figuring out how to handle this better (often times, I need to separate them…or strap them in their high chairs at the dining table for some fun with Play-Doh. OR a good dance party!), and I know it will get easier with time. They both LOVE to help with the baby, so often times I’ll stop a fight by saying “MOMMY NEEDS YOUR HELP! Who wants to be my big helper?” and dishing out an easy task like getting the baby a diaper.
There are many days I have nothing left to give and the dishes are piled up in the sink and the 5 loads of laundry are all over the bedroom and laundry room floor, and I just really want to run away for 20 minutes the second my husband walks in the door (we can all relate to that, right?).
I feel blessed to have a husband who GETS IT and will let me go for those 20 minutes, and who won’t tell me that it was equally as hard for him while I was gone. I know not everyone has this (single moms/military wives, you’re amazing), so it’s not something I take for granted.
And I also don’t take for granted the fact that I have three beautiful children running around and noisy-ing up our household. As hard as it may be, I look at them and think about the work that it took to bring them here. I remember the emotions and struggles we experienced trying to conceive, and I feel so so blessed to be their mom. I know that sounds super cliche, but this really is everything I’ve ever dreamed of for my life.
Our schedules are only going to get crazier as we add in extracurricular activities like sports, swimming, and dance, but this is what I’ve always wanted. I’ve always wanted to be cheering for my kids along the sidelines. I’ve always wanted to be a team mom and help arrange snack schedules. I cannot wait to see my boy at his first tee ball game, and Noelle in a little tutu on stage. And I cannot wait to see who Austin will become in the next few years. I have no doubt in my mind that these three will be the BEST of friends, and that makes my heart so happy. I try to remember this on the hard days where everyone is driving me crazy, and it’s really helped put things into perspective. I would rather have all of this than not at all.
So if you’re wondering what 3 is really like…it’s a shit show! But a really amazing, glorious, incredible, overwhelmingly beautiful one. And one I wouldn’t trade ANYTHING for. 🙂
Photography by Victoria Gloria, who knows how to capture the beauty of motherhood 😉
Kate says
Ahhhh!!! So good !! #sobbing
Meghan Roy says
Lauren, that was SO beautiful! Thank you for your honesty and such a real post!
xoxo
Christine Covino says
Beautifully said, this is an inspiration! <3
Susan Wilson says
A circus is a pretty accurate way of describing it! I had our third son the day before you had Austin and have a 3 1/2 year old and just turned two year old. Every day there are moments of pure chaos where everyone needs something at the same time and inevitably there are tears and tantrums when I can’t give them all what they need at once. But that moment passes and turns into those moments where everyone is content, smiling and having fun…then that passes and we are back to chaos!
Our house has never been messier, which is stressful but I know one day I will have fingerprint free windows, clear floors and less laundry. However, I’ll also have no little boys running around and that is going to hurt so I am trying to embrace the chaos! x
Emily Crain says
Our third baby will be a year old next week and I have to say that going from 2-3 was so much harder than I ever anticipated. She’s been our hardest baby and I just never expected for our life to turn to such chaos! Lol And the noise level, like you said!!! Can you believe that 3 little creatures can make that much noise?!?! Haha
I don’t want to tell you that it gets easier, I always hated being told that, because things change so quickly and some things DO become easier but then there are new challenges. But just like with two kids, you quickly adapt to three and you figure out your new normal. I DO NOT have it all together most days and it’s still so hard, but you grow and learn along with the kiddos. I also think it helps as baby gets older and they just become so much fun! For real though, Thank Goodness for amazing support from our husbands, I don’t know where I’d be without mine and I’m happy to hear you have the same!
You already know this, but we are all in this together and other moms (This one right here!!!!!) knows exactly how you feel!–Sometimes we just need to be reminded. Sending you love and hugs, mama!
Ali says
Love this and all the adorable pictures! You have such a beautiful family, Lauren! I am the youngest of three and the sassiest of the group. My sister and brother are just 13 months apart and I literally have no idea how my mother survived, and worked night shifts as a CICU nurse. We just had our first in February and also want 3 kiddos, so I appreciate your honesty about how hard it can be. Hope you guys get some warm weather and sunshine soon!! 🙂
Mandi says
What a lovely article. So real and raw. Can’t wait to add a third into my crazy house.
Melissa says
Love Love Love this post! I can relate to every single word! Just had my third boy and they are al 2.5 years apart. So I have a 5 year old m, almost 3 year old, and 3 month old. Definitely a circus around here as well and some days I wonder if it will be less work when I go back to work after my maternity leave is over haha! But I wouldn’t change it for the world either. Love my little mamas boys <3
Jen says
Love this post so much. literally teared up!! Congrats on your beautiful family Lauren (and for being such a great mom!!)
Crystal says
You are doing great Lauren. It will get easier and better. Remember there are seasons in life that suck, but when you look back and see how tough those days were you will really be proud of yourself, your kids and wonderful husband! Hang in there, you are a fantastic mother!!????????????
ENJOY IT NOW, time goes sooooo fast! You will be buying Prom dresses before long!????
Allie says
So many fricken tears I wasn’t expecting!! I love this so much. It ahoenat but really made me think about what I’ve always wanted and you definitely hit the nail on the head. I only have two kids and it was the hardest transition ever. I know I want a third and my husband is on the fence. I just keep saying, the chaos will be so worth it!
Maya Taylor says
This was SO cute!! Made me tear up!! Mom life is the best life!
Briana. says
Eeeek so scared right now as i sit here pregnant with my third. I have twins that will be 2 when baby is born and man I’m a nervous wreck already! You rock mom good though!
Tracy Walters says
I’m a mother of seven, yes seven and believe me anything after three is just numbers. When I had my third I thought “This is it, motherhood is gonna kill me” but we got through it, and number four through seven was so much easier, and I really believe that’s why we ended up with so many. Three is huge but watching you sweet Momma…you got this!!
Angela says
So many beautiful tears when reading this. Your perspective is beautiful and something I need to remind myself of so often and I only have one! Thank you.
Koriane says
Thank you for this! I am currently expecting my third one in a couple months, and my husband and I constantly look at each other thinking about how we are going to handle a third one. Our other two will be 3 and almost 2 when this little one is born. We are excited, but nervous, about this journey 🙂
Shannon says
Thank you for this! I am expecting girl #3 in May and am a little anxious about it. My other two are 4 and 2 1/2 so I am guessing my house will be a circus like yours. It’s encouraging to read your experience and have realistic expectations. My prayer for myself is that I don’t get caught up in the moments I feel like I am failing and instead truly enjoy and eat up every moment with my girls!
Deanna says
Yep…shit show is how I’d describe our transition from 2 to 3 lol. Just like everything it gets easier and then they throw another curve ball at you ????
Shannon Cairns says
I had my third baby in March! I agree, total shit show, but worth every chaotic second!
Lauren says
Goodness I just LOVE this post!
Edie from Echomillcottage says
We had our two boys 13 months apart, all while shuffling a major move and pilot school in Arizona! Like many moms, I learned as opportunities (HA!) presented themselves because my mom was in Georgia. I had no one to help, because my husband was gone constantly. It was quite a journey, and the one thing I wish I had done was journal daily. I hope you journal, because when your kids are grown, like mine are now, it will be nice to just read through it and recalls what seemingly felt undoable (is that even a word) got done and the journey made us stronger. Your family is lovely, and every second counts. Life is grand!