Thank you to Mirum Shopper and Walgreens for sponsoring today’s post. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
With the arrival of our third baby in the pending future, I can’t help but reflect on how different I feel this pregnancy than I have with previous pregnancies. Maybe it’s because it’s still so early on, but I feel weirdly confident in my mothering abilities. Which isn’t something I could say before. I can remember panicking when I was pregnant with my first, wondering exactly how I could be a mother. I was someone who never really enjoyed babysitting unless the kids were older, and I’m not exactly a patient person. In fact, I was totally that jerk who got annoyed by loud kids in church. How was I going to be a mom? Becoming a mother was an incredible learning experience for me and changed my outlook on many things. I felt a *little* more confident while pregnant with #2, but struggled with knowing how to handle the balancing act of dividing my time. Of course, I again learned and adapted to this new situation, but the transition from 1 to 2 children was quite a challenge for me.
With #3 on the way…I’m oddly okay with everything. Maybe because I’ve got two under my belt, but at this point I feel that if I can raise two little ones who are THRIVING, a third shouldn’t be too difficult. Yes, I’m having to divide my time three ways, and yes I’ll be learning how to juggle the needs of three tiny humans. But I’ve done the feeding, the diapers, the sleep training, the scheduling, etc twice before and my two kids are doing just fine. I know there will be challenges, but I think I’ve reached a point in motherhood where I’m not send guessing my every move anymore. And I’m not spending time worried about what others are thinking of me. Part of me wishes I could go back in time and see myself as a first time mom and tell her it will be okay. And tell her everything I’ve learned over the years and that she will be JUST fine.
Some of the things I wish I’d known….
I wish I had known that other opinions don’t matter. I used to worry so much about what others thought of me as a mother. Was I doing the right thing? What will my friends think when they find out I vaccinate? What will people say if I sleep train? Am I a terrible mother if I don’t buy organic? And none of that matters. We all parent differently, and there’s no right or wrong answer. You do you, and I’ll do me. As long as our children feel loved and are thriving, we are succeeding at this parenthood thing. Regardless of how differently we do it. It doesn’t matter what someone else says.
I wish I had known that FED IS BEST. I struggled so badly with this with my first born, to the point that I threw myself into 13 months of exclusive pumping for fear that I would be judged if I gave my child formula. I look back on these days and pity myself. I was unhappy, cried often, and struggled with never finding out why my sweet baby wouldn’t nurse. I was so scared to give formula for fear of others judgement that I jeopardized my own happiness, and, as a result, my child’s as well. It doesn’t matter how we feed our children, as long as they’re FED. I wish I could drive home this point to every single mom out there who’s ever felt like they needed to feed their baby a certain way because of the pressure society places on us. A breastfed baby is not better than a formula fed baby. Happy moms and happy babies are what matters.
I wish I had known that it’s okay to make time for myself. I was so nervous to leave my son with anyone that I rarely made time for myself. I felt guilty working and then leaving him again to go to the gym or do anything without him. I now know that a happy mom means a happy baby, and time for ourselves is so crucial to our roles as mothers.
I wish I had known that I would make mistakes, and that’s okay. Listen, none of us are perfect moms. There are times I’ve lost my cool, yelled, and felt like a horrible human being afterwards. But it’s okay for our children to see our mistakes, as long as we own up to them. That’s apart of life, admitting we’re wrong and taking ownership for our actions.
I wish I had known to not be afraid to ask for help. I wish I was more open to asking for help the first time around. I felt like I needed to say yes to everyone who wanted to visit, but felt awkward asking them to bring food, or take out the trash, or hold the baby while I take a quick shower. TAKE ALL THE HELP! It’s my biggest piece of advice for new moms. If anyone thinks they’re coming to see this third baby without bringing me food, they are sadly mistaken 😉
I wish I had known it takes a village. Moms, we need to be supportive of one another. We need to accept that we all parent differently, and again, THAT’S OKAY. We can parent differently and still support each other as moms. It takes a village to raise children, whether your village is one person or 50. I don’t know what I would’ve done if my mom hadn’t taken time off work to help me and cook for me in the early days. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t have my friend, who had her baby just 3 weeks before me, to text at all hours of the night asking if what my baby is doing is normal. We need each other. It’s impossible to do this alone.
If you’re mom who’s little one is using formula, Well Beginnings, sold exclusively at Walgreens, is equally as great and costs much less than brand name formula! You can even set it up for reorder through their website, which saves time (something all moms need more of!). They have Premium Infant with Iron, Milk Based Infant Formula with Iron, Sensitivity Infant Formula, and Gentle Infant Formula with Iron. There’s something for every baby with Walgreens Well Beginnings!
What’s one thing you wish you had known during your early stages of motherhood? I would love to hear it in a comment below!